Sunday, September 20, 2009

Dancing in the Rain

"Life's not about waiting for the storms to pass, but it's about learning to dance in the rain." I first heard this quote a little over a year ago and I love it. It's the kind of 'life perspective' that I want to have in life. It's the attitude I want to permeate from my core. It's about living in the moment 'and making it so beautiful it's worth remembering' despite the circumstances around me. And as much as I love it, it's not always easy to do. But yesterday I celebrated as I chose this attitude.

Our friends came to stay the weekend with us and go to Silver Dollar City (SDC) with us. We've been anticipating this for awhile. So Saturday arrives and just as we go to leave for SDC it starts raining. And it never stopped. Despite the weather forecast of 30% scattered rain, we spent the entire day at Silver Dollar City in the rain, sometimes misty sprinkles other times torrential downpour. And yet we laughed, we joked, we played in the rain! And what fun the water rides were! On top of that Sarah got sick yesterday...vomited in the car on the way there and the way back. She spent most of the day at SDC enjoying herself, but around 3pm her little tummy began to ache again. So while the others went and rode rides, I sat on the bench with her, held her, sang to her and she fell asleep in my arms. Oh what a precious few moments those were. She's starting to get so big and to have her fall asleep in my arms and give me a moment to just be thankful for her and to smell her hair and kiss her forehead, and thank God for the blessing she is in my life, well it was priceless!

And today, because she's still not feeling well, we didn't go to church. I miss the Sundays we don't go and yet I have been enjoying some time reading my bible, praying, listening to some online sermons from our old church. I've been appreciating this unexpected morning. Sometimes the best plans and routines are interrupted with stroms. So I might not always remember to dance in the rain...but this weekend I did...and it's been wonderful!

Friday, September 11, 2009

Grief

Tonight I'm thankful for Grief. It's not that I enjoy grief, and yet there is something healing when you pause to grieve. Today I'm grieving the tragedy of 9/11 once again. It still moves me to tears and I still ache for those who lost so many loved ones that day. I still can't even comprehend such evil acts and I still feel proud for such bravery we saw that day as the news unfolded. What deep tragedy. It still brings tears to my eyes. This year I attempted to explain this tragedy to the girls.

I'm also grieving 'cuz it's grandparents day at school. First, I miss living close to my parents, I miss my kids being able to celebrate fun days like this at school with them. It also makes me miss Mike's parents and I still wish they were here to share life with.

Lastly, this week, I was reminded that I once again need to grieve some disappointments from the past few years. Those disappointments are preventing me from moving forward in some areas of life. I'm hoping that in pausing to grieve, I will be able to step forward again.

I'm glad God gave us emotions, 'cuz I couldn't imagine living life without them.

Monday, September 7, 2009

End of Summer

Even though we've been in school a few weeks, Labor Day really feels like the end of summer. Our 'Fall' is filled with routine and work and commitments. But what things about this last summer did I love? I loved waking up slowly in the mornings, laying in bed with our new laptop. I loved having time to write the draft of my memoir. I loved the week the girls spent the mornings at horse camp and I had some time to myself. I loved that our trips to WI, MA and MI allowed the girls to play with all their cousins this summer. I loved celebrating our 15th anniversary. I loved watching the girls fly across the lake on the tube! I loved the cooler summer that reminded me more of a 'Michigan Summer'. I loved visiting Silver Dollar City all summer long with family and friends. I loved reading more books than I could count. I loved 1/2 price drinks at Sonic. I loved the sunshine.

And here comes Autumn...cooler temps, chili suppers, picking up walnuts, Sunday drives to see the world be painted beautiful, sweatshirts, football, bike rides, long walks. Ahhh, each season has reasons to celebrate!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

One Year Later

So one year ago, I attended the general PTO meeting, didn't know a soul, was overwhelmed about being in a new place and I remember sobbing on my way home. I wrote about it my blog. So tonight on my way there I was thinking about how a year later I would probably know people there...and I did. It was so nice to feel 'connection'! And as I left, I was reflecting on how a year ago the God of the universe amazed and moved me thru and song. Tonight, another song came on the radio and it spoke to me...a lot of it reflects some of my current struggles. And once again I feel loved by the God of the universe! Some things have changed this past year and others have remained the same! Here are a few of the lyrics (it's by Michael W. Smith).
The wind is moving, But I am standing still
A life of pages Waiting to be filled
A heart that's hopeful, A head that's full of dreams
But this becoming Is harder than it seems

Hear me asking Where do I belong?
Is there a vision That I can call my own?
Show me, I'm Looking for a reason

I need your light to help me find My place in this world,
My place in this world

When I was younger I thought it would be easy to find my place in this world - but then life has its twists and turns and here I am... still wondering... thankful for this life that is mine... doing my best to bloom where I am right now... and yet wondering what is next for me....