Moments on the Journey

9 Ways We Celebrated a 9th Birthday

2012-02-12T09:37:00.000-06:00

Nine years ago, sweetness itself was born! Here are nine ways we celebrated Sarah on her 9th birthday...(she chose a mini-trip to visit friends vs. a party.)

1. Our birthday tradition of balloons and streamers hanging in her bedroom doorway when she wakes up

2. Donuts to school!

3. New hair for her American Girl Doll! Glad her doll made it safely to the American Girl Doll Hospital and back again into her arms!

4. Shakespeare's Pizza - shared with some great friends! (so worth the 3.5 hour drive!) Glad this is what she wanted for her big day!! How'd I forget a picture of this?!

5. Swimming at hotel pool with life long friends (whom we miss terribly!)

6. An amazing one-of-a-kind, birthday cake, made just for her by the one and only Darian!

7. Staying overnight at a hotel, just for fun! Made duct-tape flip flops!

8. Wrote her a special note in her journal.

9. Standing on her chair at dinner while the waiter wished her a happy birthday and gave her a mug of ice cream!

NIXA!

2012-02-09T21:46:00.001-06:00

I put part of this conversation on my FB page this morning, but I wanted to capture it here in my blog to 'keep'.

Me: We are going to a special service at the New Nixa Campus tonight.

Sarah: Why?

Me: Well, because we want to celebrate all that God has in store for North Point - Nixa. We want to celebrate the lives that God wants to touch with His love. We are glad we get to a part of God's plan to bring people closer to him, so we are going to celebrate!

Morgan: Mom, when you talk...(pause)

Me: Um, yay?

Morgan: You make things sound so interesting!

Me: How's that?

Morgan: Well I didn't really want to go tonight, but then after you said that, I really want to go now!

So tonight we went and worshiped the One who loves us more than anything. And we celebrated that He has had his hand on this new church campus since before it was even a thought, and for all the lives He will touch. And we are thankful we get to be a part of it!

This picture was on FB when we got home - the girls wanted to sit front and center (not my first choice, but they were excited!)

Lastly, I was thinking about this coincidence. Nine years ago we helped as a new campus was getting started at our last church, and we missed the first 2-3 weeks because of Sarah's birth. This time we are missing the first 2 weeks of the new campus, again because it's Sarah's birthday this weekend, and we are travelling back to Jeff City, and will be visiting the campus from 9 years ago.

We hope to see you in Nixa! The fun begins February 19th! 9:30 and 11:00!

Quote for the Day

2012-02-02T21:22:00.002-06:00

I like listening to my girls have a conversation in the back seat of the car. They often forget I'm listening and talk freely. This morning, the conversation went something like this:

Morgan (to Sarah): Try to NOT look at the clock today, it will make the day go faster.
Sarah (to Morgan): No, it will not make the day go faster, it will just make the day seem to go faster!
Me (chuckling to myself and thinking): Sarah is without a doubt her daddy's girl...so literal. It so sounded like something he would say to me, "You know, you can't make time go any faster..." Oh I love them both...and their 'literal'ness! And I'm glad Morgan talks/thinks a bit more like me, so I am not all alone! :)

January Love

2012-01-29T20:02:00.000-06:00

I have absolutely LOVED January this year. This is not the norm. Norm often involves me suffering from seasonal depression. Not this year. This year, I have been motivated...got a lot of stuff done and reorganized and started and cleaned out. It's a great feeling!

And every weekend...we've been lazy. Enjoying family time. Replenishing. Soaking in togetherness. We've been able to get outside every weekend this month, the unseasonable warm weather has been amazing! Today involved a quick trip to Wilson's Creek.

Look at our very unique find on our walk. Any guesses?

We thought it was an egg of some kind. Good thing Mike was with us, 'cuz he was ~~foolish~~ brave enough to pick it up! The other side had the markings of watermelon rind, this side apparently had some fungus on it. It was hallow, like a dried gourd.

We came home and the girls insisted on making dinner. Well, okay, twist my arm! This was the kitchen when they were finished (to which my dear husband remarked "it looks the same as when you cook!" - ouch, sometimes the truth hurts!) Oh and by the way, Morgan even made my favorite pancakes for me - chocolate chips and pecans! Yum!!

We've completed two puzzles this month. One very difficult one took us three weeks. This one we cranked out in just three days!

As you can see above, we've been converting the area under our stairs to two American Girl 'studio apartments' - they are still 'in progress' - and it's hard to get a good picture, but they both have bunk beds in them. This weekend the girls worked on painting the walls. Sarah's is pink and white diamonds, Morgan's has green splatter painted walls.

And the other thing is that we've had some absolutely gorgeous winter sunsets this month. My camera fails to capture the brilliance of the colors, but there were four different colored layers in the sunset tonight. Here is a picture off my back deck.

Lastly, I just got a new devotional called "Jesus Calling" and I am very excited about it. It's been speaking to my soul, and that is good! And here comes February...birthdays, hearts, GS cookies, two weekend getaways...oh it will be good!

Inspiration

2012-01-23T11:55:00.000-06:00

As I've said before, I LOVE quotes. I needed a few to inspire me today. Here's what I found...

Go for it now. The future is promised to no one. ~Wayne Dyer
You can't discover new oceans unless you have the courage to leave the shore. Anonymous
If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
Henry David Thoreau
We should not let our fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes. John F. Kennedy
A Ship in harbor is safe - but that is not what ships are for. - John A. Shedd, Salt from My Attic
Follow your passion, and success will follow you. - Terri Guillements
Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. - Attributed to Howard Thurman
I know not what the future holds, but I know who holds the future. Author Unknown

Pinterest Inspired Weekend

2012-01-22T14:51:00.001-06:00

I know I've mentioned it before, but I really love pinterest.com! I find so many really fun ideas. And what's the point of actually finding the ideas (and pinning them) if you never use them?! So, since we were home this weekend...I've been inspired to try several of them!

First we made this cute, easy garland to decorate for Valentine's Day.

Then we made mailboxes for the girl's door out of....drum roll please...old VHS cases!

So needless to say, we've been sharing notes all weekend! Then we searched and searched for the perfect valentine day cards to make for school parties.

Finally, I'm making two pinterest recipes for our small group bible study tonight.

Hot Cocoa Cake in the Crockpot...

And Cheddar Bacon Dip (aka Crack)...

I made the dip one other time. It was really good!

Seriously, I am in love with pinterest. It makes me smile and inspires creativity! What's not to love?!

Puppy Love

2012-01-20T06:01:00.037-06:00

I always wanted a floppy eared dog that loved to snuggle up with me. And guess what, that's just what I got! I LOVE this dog! (Whom the girls call Daisy Crazy Lazy Mazey Baker) It may have been a trying couple puppy years...and now, she is the sweetest dog! She is still a terrible walker...following her nose everywhere (she is a beagle, so I can't blame her too much) and she loves our visitors so she will jump on you if you come to my door! She also likes to play Houdini and make stuff disappear off the table when we are not looking. So she's far from perfect, but she loves us so well, how can you not love her back? Here are a few recent pictures of the puppy that has taken up residence in my heart forever...

Cracks me up how she loves to burrow under the blankets whenever she can!

This is her favorite spot, curdled up on the blanket, on top of me, on the couch.

She's breaking in my new hammock with me on a beautiful January day!

Tonight

2012-01-18T21:16:00.001-06:00

Tonight I am thankful for...

a husband who goes to a Girl Scout meeting to help sew sock monkeys so I can go out with a friend for hot cocoa and much needed conversation (If that's not love, I don't know what is!)
a stranger becoming a friend
truth spoken to my heart (even if it is hard to hear)
God's patience and deep love for me. always. no matter what tough questions I'm asking him.
a friend just a phone call away.
a husband who knows what to do when emergency lights come on in the car
a snuggly, floppy ear dog at the end of the day (I might have to write a separate blog post for this!)
my blog, printed into a book, sitting on my coffee table. :)

MLK Day

2012-01-16T21:07:00.001-06:00

I LOVE that both Mike and the girls had today OFF! And I LOVE even more that it was 68 and sunny (and very windy!) in the middle of January!! So, how do we spend a day home?

We stay in our pajamas til noon, while watching episode 2 of Star Wars (only have episode #3 left in the series!). The girls got Mike the blu-ray disks (decided to update our VHS tapes of IV,V,VI) for Christmas, so we have been watching them with them this month. It's funny how much they are 'in' to the story!

The girls played this afternoon outside with their friends - tire swing, trampoline, american girl dolls. Mike and I did a few chores around here, and I started collecting info for taxes (the not so fun part of my day!).

Then we went for a long walk at the nature center, browsed for some home improvement ideas at Home Depot, enjoyed this gorgeous sunset on the way to...yes, you guessed it, Andy's Frozen Custard. Don't judge me, I didn't feel like cooking, so it was our dinner!!

Yes, it was a good day (except the little hiccup in the middle of Mike and I being upset with each other, but I'm thankful we were able to talk it out and put it behind us and enjoy the rest of the day!) I LOVE extra days I get to spend with my three favorite people!

Wishy Washy Words

2012-01-12T12:32:00.000-06:00

There are some words in my vocabulary that I am trying to change. There's one of them: "try". I find myself saying this a lot "I will try to do this or that..." When really how much better would it be if I just decide that yes I am going to do this or no I will not be doing that?!

The other word is maybe. Maybe I'll check into that. Maybe I won't. The only time I like this word is when I'm trying to be a bit mysterious..."Maybe...you'll just have to wait and see." Otherwise, I just need to decide and do!

Then there is "kinda". I kinda like that. Well do I or don't I? Why am I so wishy washy? So uncommitted as to if I like something or don't. I really need to be more decisive.

The other word I use waaay too often is "just" as in, Just a minute, I was just wondering, I just want to be sure. It's just an odd little word, that often isn't really necessary...and yet I use it all the time. I am sure you will find it in most of my blog posts if you just take a minute and look. ;)

There has got to be better words for me to use! To be true to myself and not live life so wishy-washy. Just don't ask me to give up my most profound, "ummm" that I use more than all of the other words combined! Goodness!

Random Questions of Late

2012-01-10T22:00:00.000-06:00

Random questions I've been asking the past few days...

How in the world did my daughter grow up so fast? Does anyone else ever look at their children and think, wow, they grew up overnight! It happens every now and then around here. I don't really like that feeling.
How did I get so lucky to be sharing life with Mike? Seriously, every time I turn around, I feel treasured. And he is an amazing dad! I wish every one could share life with someone like him. After all these years, I'm still glad he chose me to share life with!
How can I get these gray hairs to STOP growing on the top of my head?! I should be thankful I've never had to color my hair. I really don't want to think about it even now. I just keep thinking, I can NOT have gray hair when I still feel so young!

New Commitments

2012-01-05T21:19:00.000-06:00

Lots of random thoughts dancing around my head tonight. I thought perhaps taking a moment to write some of them down might help clear my head and let me sleep more soundly when my head hits the pillow tonight. (Wishful thinking, I know!)

We've moved and started over five times. The first four times seemed so much easier than this last time has been. I know it's been 3.5 years since we've been here now, but I'm just now feeling like really investing in the community. I try to analyze why it's been this way, but really I wonder if they 'why' really matters. What matters is the 'now'. And now, I'm wanting to take action, to be more involved. Not in an over-committed sense, but in the sense that I am in a position in life where I can be involved. Here are some of the areas I am looking forward to committing to in the coming months.

First, deep relationships. Taking time to actually have face to face interactions with some of the beautiful people God has brought into my life. Less computer time, more real face time! Going out, with friends.

Second, I'm feeling this desire slowly rekindling to get back into social work. I tread back into these waters lightly, as I know how emotionally demanding careers in social work truly are. And yet, within me lies a passion to be available to others, and offer them opportunities to get past some of the pain and hard circumstances that are keeping them stuck. And along with that, I really want to invest in children...because I truly believe that preventing brokenness and empowering children with life skills...these are the things that will make the biggest difference in the community. I have a deep respect for the mission of Isabel's House and look forward to volunteering there in the (hopefully) very near future. Side Note: I'd be there tomorrow, but the application process to volunteer is more in-depth than many regular jobs - understandably.

Third, we have really enjoyed our new church, and while we've led a small group in our home and we've helped at 2nd Saturday events, we have yet to jump on board in actually helping at the church campus. So, with the start-up of a third campus, we have decided this is a good time for us to jump back into ministry. God is doing some awesome things through North Point Church, and we want to use our gifts to be a part of it!

Oh, the list of things in my head is much longer than this, but it does feel good to write down some of these plans/desires for the coming months.

Questions for 2012

2012-01-01T17:11:00.002-06:00

Some random questions as I ponder the year ahead....

Will Sarah be able to keep track of her new expander (getting next week) for the entire year? Phase 1 of Braces here we come!
Will my weekend getaway with Mike get here soon enough?
How will helping with the start of another campus at North Point Church change us?
How much will I cry when Morgan heads off to Middle School?
Which friendships will grow deeper this coming year?
How will God draw me closer to him?
and lastly, How can I be celebrating my 20 year high school reunion this year when I still feel so young?!

Lights! Camera! Action!

2011-12-31T17:44:00.001-06:00

As 2011 leaves us…forever…I am reminded that each year I have on this earth is a gift. (This 4 minute, 20 second video is my favorite video from 2011, and maybe all time, which beautifully reminds me of the gift that life is.) And as I travel home across 671 miles today, I find myself pondering the coming year. I keep coming back to this thought: I want this coming year to be about putting action to my intentions.

Intentions like volunteering in the community again. Intentions like contacting a publisher or two about book idea. Intentions like spending more one on one time with my girls. And intentions like actually getting together for lunch with a friend. And writing some letters I’ve been ‘intending’ to write for awhile. And having the neighbors over to play cards. Intentions like buying more handmade gifts, or actually making my own. Intentions like regular exercise and a healthier lifestyle. Intentions like reading my bible on a more regular basis, rather than sporadically. You see, the truth is, I can spend my whole life thinking about doing something…or I can actually do it. Action. That’s my word for 2012. What’s yours?!

Christmas Week

2011-12-29T09:29:00.001-06:00

First, the pictures of what I'm calling our "American Girl" Christmas...

Next, capturing into words, some of the memories of our Christmas week...

Two miles into our 671 mile car trip my sarcastic daughter (Morgan) asks, "Are we there yet?" Ha, ha! And at 5:15am, I didn't even break into my famous song of "we'll get there when we get there, and have a great time when we do, but half the fun of getting where we're going, is going there with you!"
The girls participated in their first communion at Christmas Eve service with their grandma and grandpa. Sweet moment.
Aunt Suzie 'capturing' Santa on her camera in the middle of the night. And how much it helped my skeptical 'believing in Santa girls' to still believe in the magic!
How happy my girls were with their presents, even if they didn't get their big wish items! I never once heard a complaint. Just smiles. And joy.
Making t-shirt scarves with my sister.
Still being able to beat my 15 year old nephew at monopoly. And that he still wanted to play the game with me!
My fingers turning raw from winding up the penguin to swim in the water, again and again, so I could see the smile on my 3 year old nephew's face again and again.
Listening to girls splash in the pool with their cousins in Chicago. And their giggles playing Headbanz with them.
Three girls, all snuggled together in one (twin) bed, while giggles (and whispers) drifted out of the door. Awww, sweet cousin love!
Seeing family and being reminded of how much we are loved!

But now I must go, for there are more memories yet to be made!

Half Birthdays

2011-12-19T06:33:00.000-06:00

I love pausing to remember half birthdays! The pausing helps me savor these precious years zooming on by! Today is Morgan's 10.5 birthday! I think it's cute how now when someone asks her age, she will no longer say, "I'm ten!" Rather she will say "I'm ten and a half!" That half is such a big deal. After all, you're so much bigger when you are ten and a half!

I woke up this morning wondering, when is the 'half' no longer important? I certainly don't go around saying I'm 37 and a half! I don't know, but as long as it's important to them, I will celebrate every half year I can! And something tells me I may even be calling them up and wishing them a happy thirty and a half birthday one day!

p.s. - And I'm LOVING our new GIANT wall scrabble game. Yesterday the words intersected to read, "Good Morning". Today they intersect with "Happy Half Birthday Fun"! And by the end of the day...the scrabble game is completed with all the letters used up!

Giant Scrabble Game!

2011-12-17T21:25:00.000-06:00

This is the weekend before Christmas and other than two birthday parties and church, we have no commitments! So we are savoring the family time we have!

Mike's Gram (almost 94) loves the game scrabble. I have fond memories of playing it at her dining room table when we visited her in upstate NY. Well, she always sends us money for Christmas, and I knew that I wanted to take some of the money and buy the materials to make this - A GIANT scrabble game!! (although we'll play it more like banagrams, as there is no 'official' board.)

Mike made the frame for me today and I'm not sure if my smile was bigger or the girls when it got hung up! As you can see from the pictures, the girls had lots of fun creating a full board before bedtime tonight.

I have a feeling this will create hours of entertainment for our family, and any friends who stop by and want to add a word or two!! I also love it because it will be a reminder of the sweet lady we know and get to call "Gram"!

Today, we also made some Christmas candy, watched a Christmas movie, opened presents from the neighbor and the ones that came in the mail from distant cousins. Tomorrow, we plan to go look at Christmas lights. Oh, and today, we also got out our "Christmas Train." It's not really Christmasy, except we get it out only at Christmas time. It was Mike's dad's train, so it's over 60 years old. As you can see from the picture, the girls love getting out all their doll house and polly toys (that they rarely play with these days) and they create an entire village around the train. I love Christmastime! And I love spending it unrushed with those I love the most!!

Merry Xmas!

2011-12-17T08:05:00.001-06:00

I know people will read this and disagree with me. That's okay, we don't have to agree, but I am going to get on my soapbox for a minute. I use to care about the whole Xmas thing and/or Happy Holidays issue. I don't anymore. I choose to write and say Merry Christmas, and probably always will. But really, I truly don't care what other Christmas greetings people say.

You see, I've been discovering, in the bigger picture of life - THIS 'issue' is a minor issue. And honestly, I wonder if God really even cares what Christmas greetings people share. When I think of God's heart - His heart for those living in poverty (note from our pastor's message last week - did you know poverty is mentioned 2,100 in the bible - I think THIS is an issue God cares deeply about!), when I think of all the pain, brokenness, disease, and spiritual emptiness in this world - I think THESE are issues close to God's heart. And as a Christian, I believe I should be more concerned about these bigger issues and not waste my energy being concerned over minor issues, like how we say or don't say Merry Christmas! Am I loving people? Am I doing what I can with my gifts, my time, my money, to be compassionate and giving in this world? These are the things I need to worry about.

Reality Check.

Am I wishing others a Merry Christmas while looking like the moms in this photo? I like to give the excuse that I don't shop Black Friday - that's not me in those photos - and yet I look under our Christmas tree right now, at all the presents ready to open - and I think about how little I've seemed to give to those hurting this season - and I'm silenced. Sure, this season, we've bought some toys and food for those living in poverty in our community - and I've picked up an application to fill out to begin volunteering again in our community after the first of the year - but within me lies this unsettled-ness. This awakening. I'm not sure where it will lead, but I'm trying to not ignore it. To love better, to care more, and to put actions to my intentions. Maybe that's what this next year needs to be about for me, putting actions to my intentions. (Oh, where did that come from? I like it!)

ps - Did you know the Greek symbol chi (X) means "Christ"? And according to Wikipedia, as early as 1634 you could find Christianity referred to as Xianity?

pss - Thanks to Tommy Sparger and North Point Church for causing me to pause and think about bigger issues of God's heart!

The Merriest Season of All

2011-12-09T08:23:00.000-06:00

This blog entry is WAY slooowwwing down my productivity, but sometimes something within me just has to try and capture into words all that my heart is feeling.

Twinkling lights filling the living room, framing the collection of a lifetime of ornaments. Flames flickering out warmth into the room. Four unmatched, unique, childhood stockings hanging from the mantle. Wrapping paper scattered throughout the floor. Memories of this past year being scribbled down onto paper and formed into a "Christmas Letter". Boxes packaged up and ready to ship. Hot chocolate filling me from the inside out with joy. Dog curious about all this 'christmasy' stuff! (psst - she looks so cute in her new Christmas collar!) Centuries old Christmas carols filling the air with promises of hope, love, peace. Awww, Christmas, I love you, you are the merriest time of season of all! I'm so glad you come to visit once a year and remind me of all that is truly important in my life.

On a different note...how did I get so lucky to be the mom of these sweet sisters?

My Nephew IS HiLAriOuS!!

2011-12-01T21:13:00.000-06:00

Noah in awe of the train. We got his big bro
this train about 12 years ago!

I seriously think I need to call my nephew every night. He is absolutely hilarious. He is the cutest two (almost three) year old ever! So here is my attempt at capturing a few snippets of tonight's phone call from him.

me: Noah, that is so cool! (he was telling me about his new lion hat)
Noah: No, not cool. It is awesome!
me: Awesome Noah!

me: Noah, Aunt Cathy loves you.
Noah: No, Mommy loves me.
me: Well mommy and Aunt Cathy loves you.
Noah: No, only mommy.
(30 secs later) me: Good night Noah, I love you.
Noah: Good night Aunt Cathy, love you too!

me: So Noah, is that okay?
Noah: No, it's not okay Aunt Cathy, it is fine!

me: Noah, is there snow outside?
Noah: No, it's just dark.
me: There is snow and dark.
Noah: No Aunt Cathy, just dark.
me: Is the snow hiding behind the dark?
Noah: (a bit frustrated) No, just dark.

He apparently decided to tell everyone a knock knock joke at daycare. And he told me. Here you go.
Knock Knock
Who's There?
Shelby
Shelby who?
Shelby coming round the mountain when she comes!

I'm sure this is no way near as funny reading it, as the actual conversation was, but hopefully this will jog my memory one day of this sweet phone call I had with him. And I must say, I just want to jump in the car now and drive up to see him! And play 'cars' with him! Soon, soon...

The Good Stuff Guide

2011-11-29T06:27:00.001-06:00

A year or so ago, I fell in love with this website, www.thegoodstuffguide.com. I love the articles she has on here. Just happy and fun, featuring great ideas, interesting products and toys. And the fun part is that she's been featuring some of my ideas on her site! :) I must admit, it is fun to see others LOVE my ideas and share them around! And she's even asked me if she can share my ideas on a more regular basis! Ummm, yay!! Thanks, Heidi!

If you're interested, you can sign up, on the website, for email or RSS feed so you don't miss any of the inspiration and fun! You can also find The Good Stuff Guide on facebook.

Here are the articles of mine she has already posted! (Is it okay that I'm smiling as I type this?!)

Our Christmas Stocking Tradition

Our Thanksgiving Tradition

Our A to Z Summer Fun

Double Murder at the Lake House: 15 Years Later

2011-11-28T06:55:00.001-06:00

Time is a mystery. Some moments it feels like it was a lifetime ago, and then other times, it feels as raw as it did yesterday. The actual date is most likely December 2, but to me, I always feel it the deepest the Monday after Thanksgiving. That was the day my world changed forever. I wouldn’t know about it until the wee hours of Wednesday, and you can read about it here if you want (this is the beginning of a memoir I wrote for the girls to read one day).

Double Murder at the Lake House. Sounds like the perfect plot for the next great bestseller. Or the latest story line on CSI. Until it is real life. Until it is my life. And my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. Until it shatters my happily ever after life. Until I’m 22 and dealing with evil so horrific that my heart is shattered into a hundred or more unrecognizable pieces.

So here I am 15 years later, pondering some of the things my heart has discovered along my journey of healing. (for those of you who do not know, this tragedy continued with a not-guilty verdict at trial, an equally difficult thing to deal with)

As much as my heart still wants justice, I’ve discovered that the one thing more powerful than justice is grace. Grace is forgiveness undeserved. Along with that, you must forgive as often as you need to. Again and again.
Life does go on. And you can still live ‘happily ever after’. But it’s also okay to occasionally break down and cry, because sometimes the pain just needs to be released. They will always be missed. And that is okay.
Sometimes you get to choose your life path. Sometimes life chooses it for you. Just keep travelling, and enjoy the journey. Figure out what’s important and remember, you always have time for the things you put first.
Sometimes it takes the tragedy to see the goodness. I wish it didn’t have to be this way.
Yes, we live in a broken, messed up world. With pain and evil. God gives us free will to choose him or not choose him. To choose goodness or choose evil. And some people choose evil. And even those of us who choose goodness still must live with the suffering caused by those who don’t. It stinks. Yet, there is a God who is here, in our lives, carrying us, especially when we find ourselves hurting from a life that has indeed given us too much to bear. He never leaves us. Ever. Even when it may feel like it.
God is big enough for our toughest questions and our never ending ‘whys’. He embraces our transparency and authenticity.
Healing takes time. There are layers upon layers of healing. I’ve worked thru many of those layers and yet, if I’m completely honest, I’m still healing. Still layers of pain and confusion my soul is wrestling with.
You are never ever promised tomorrow. Enjoy this moment. Cherish the relationships that are a part of your life right now. Love BIG.

Dear Linda,

2011-11-20T13:20:00.000-06:00

Just in case there really are windows in the floor of heaven, or better yet, they have access to the internet there, I’m writing this letter for my mother-in-law to read.

Dear Linda,

Sometimes I’m still amazed when the tears fall without warning, but they still do. This week it happened when I read this saying, “Thank you for raising your son to be the man of my dreams.” Oh how I wish I could tell you this in person – turn the saying into a cross-stitch or a painted plaque for your wall; then wrap it up with love and watch your hands unwrap it, and look into your eyes after you read it - my own eyes certain to be holding back the tears of gratitude as I look back into yours. But I can’t. 15 years now and I still miss you.

I wish you were here to see what an amazing man your son is. A man who loves me, and your grandchildren, deeply and well. A man who has his priorities right, one who looks forward to getting home to us at the end of the day to simply enjoy ‘life’ with us. Yet a man who works hard, who helps make the world a little bit safer and better place, everyday in his career. He provides well for us. He is a man of integrity. He is stable, trustworthy, and always calm under pressure. I’ve had more than one person whom he works with ask me, “Does he ever get mad?” to which I simply respond, ‘no, not really’. They simply find it amazing that someone can be so calm. I seriously can count on my fingers the number of times he’s gotten angry in the past 20 years. He is faithful and steadfast. His arms are a safe place for me to fall each night. He laughs easily. He makes sure we have fun. He makes wise decisions. He’s patient with me and all my mood swings.

Thank you for letting him ‘fix’ so many things in your home growing up. For letting him cut apart frogs and sew them back up (you may or may not have known about that one!), for letting him take apart radios and tvs and tinker with cars. For trusting him with home repair projects and believing in him when was trying to fix things. And for telling him thank you when he finished. He is so incredibly handy. There are very few things he can not fix. I’m constantly amazed at what a great problem solver he is!

He’s taught me that even though life can be hard, really hard, it still goes on and we can still live a happy and full life. He told me you taught him that. After you lost his dad, you found strength and courage to raise your family and make a happy, secure childhood for them. And you took him to church and told him about Jesus and he saw you believe in God throughout it all. Thank you for attending childhood concerts, and all his sporting events, and especially for all those drives you made to pick him up from college so he could come home and see me! I imagine you were weary at times, and shed a few tears of your own. Please know that it was worth it all. You raised an amazing son.

In fact, I’m sure my two sister-in-laws could say very similar things. You’ve actually raised three amazing sons. I wish you could be a part of all our families. I wish all eight of your grandkids could know the warmth of your hugs and the comfort of your handmade blankets. And I really wish I could tell you this Thanksgiving how very thankful I am to you. I will continue to love your son deeply every day ‘until the day after forever’!

With love and gratitude, Cathy

Autumn Gorgeousness

2011-11-19T08:24:00.000-06:00

I absolutely LOVE pinterest these days. Even more than facebook, which is saying a lot. Pinterest just makes me smile. and feel happy. and inspires me. I've collected a few autumn photos on my pinterest boards.

Rainbow Woods

I **wish** I could take beautiful photos like this.

Portugal

I **wish** I could visit these breathtakingly beautiful places in person.

Early Autumn, Bulgaria

I **wish** one of these photos could be the view off my back deck.

Vermont

But for now, I'm **thankful** for the talent of others who do visit and live in these places, and pause to capture these sights on film. Because just looking at these pictures makes me smile. And breathe in deeply. And celebrate the One who painted all this gorgeous creation! So as the last of autumn leaves us for another year, I just wanted to pause and celebrate the beauty these photos capture! Thank you to each of these 'unknown' photographers whose photos have added a simple joy to my life!

Somewhere 'Out West', America

Hope. It's a Beautiful Thing.

2011-11-16T21:05:00.000-06:00

This week hope is alive. And hope makes me smile. BIG. And dream. And believe in my dreams. And feel alive. It makes a stressful day brighter. It renews passion. And I couldn't imagine a world without hope. And it's such a good feeling, it makes me want to pass it on. and on. and on.

(in)courage (in)spired deals: Table Runner and Gratitude

2011-11-10T20:57:00.000-06:00

Oh, I am loving these monthly giveaways from DaySpring/ incourage. You see, they send me an awesome product, for free, and then I get to leave a honest and fair review of the item on my blog (i.e., my own opinion). So here I am!

I was already smiling when I saw the box on my doorstep, but then I opened the box...and my smile grew! This absolutely beautiful tablerunner was in the box! The details are worth noting...The words are stitched on, the flower designs appliqued/stitched around the edges, ruffled pleats along the border. And I LOVE the fall colors - not gaudy, but simply beautiful. I immediately put it on my table. Then a miracle happened (just kidding - kind of!) My husband even noticed I got a new table runner and commented how much he liked it when he got home!

And I love the subtle reminder that is stitched onto both ends of the runner.... Let there be thankfulness to God! Ephesians 5:4. Oh, I want that to be my life song...not just for the holiday. All the gifts He gives me every day...oh, let me pause and say thanks! That's what this past year, my year of counting 1000 gifts and more, has been about. A lifestyle of stopping to show thanks to the very One who gives them all to me. During this season of thanksgiving, I am also pausing to show my daughters how thankful I am for them, by writing a new reason every day of the month on their bathroom mirror. You can read about it here. I am reminded of the saying, "We always have time for the things we put first." and stopping to show gratitude is something I try to be intentional about, something I try to put first. I.must.make.the.time. AND.take.the.time. It nourishes my soul!

And now I have this beautiful table runner to serve as reminder of life's simple pleasures... and all the thankfulness that is mine. And I'm glad I get to share the joy of it with all who stop by and share our table this holiday season. Thank you, Dayspring for your monthly (in)spired deals! You brighten my world! And I love the way your products give subtle, yet, beautiful reminders of truth.

Gratitude. Thanksgiving. Passing it On.

2011-11-03T21:43:00.003-05:00

Every November, since 2006, we've been doing the same activity. I have this old cornucopia that sits on our dining room table. Next to it are strips of blank paper and pens. Every night at dinner, we write one thing we are thankful for, share it, and put it in the cornucopia. Then on Thanksgiving Day, we read them all.

Then I saved them all. And when I finally had enough at the end of last year, I made place-mats with them.

Tonight was the first night they were on our table. The girls smiles and enjoyment from reading them was simply precious. They were trying to get each other to guess who had wrote what! :) I also saved their fall artwork during these years and put it on the place-mats too. Two sheets of paper, covered with contact paper. Simple. Easy. Here are a couple of pictures, sorry for the poor photo quality.

New this year, I decided to do something different during the month of November. So, using my favorite EXPO marker idea, combined with my other favorite A to Z idea, I'm writing on the girl's bathroom mirror, one new thing every day this month. The top of the mirror says,
"My A to Z reasons I'm thankful 4 my girls!" So far...

A. Always try to do the right thing.

B. Big Brown Eyes (windows to their soul!)

C. Care about other's feelings.

(and for tomorrow) D. Dance and Sing

Gratitude. Doing my best to pass it along to my girls!

Twindians!

2011-10-31T21:48:00.000-05:00

They thought balancing baskets on their heads was 'indian like'!

One of the neighbors called the girl's 'twindians' tonight! We all thought it was cute, so it's what we kept calling them all night! We got to trick or treat with baby Henry tonight too! He was a deer, but you can't see his cute 'hooves' in the picture. Oh, I love these trick or treating years with the girls! Way too much sugar, but their giggles all day long just make my heart smile! These years are going to end waaay too soon! But I will have to remember to heed Dr. Suess' advice, "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

Sarah

Morgan

Henry's First Trick or Treat!

Our Dinner!

What to do with 'Hell' on Earth

2011-10-30T16:25:00.002-05:00

Our church has an outreach, called ImpACT (I like how it has "I ACT" in it). It's a strategic outreach to make a dent in the four global giants of poverty, disease, illiteracy, and spiritual emptiness. It's a huge reason I LOVE our church so much. I always find myself challenged by the annual "ImpACT" talk.

Here are a few random notes from today's talk.

There may be 'hell' on earth, but we can bring a little bit of heaven.
Don't ask, Where is God (when you see hurting and brokenness and injustice in the world)? But rather ask, where am I? What am I doing to bring a bit of heaven to earth?
Proverbs 31: 8-9 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.
Find where God's heart is. And join him there. And throughout scripture you see that his heart is with the poor and broken.
I am in the center of God's will when I am in the midst of the poor and hurting. Matt 25: 35-40
And what if we get this thing right? What if we really are the hands and feet of Christ and love others well in our world? After I got home I read a beautiful example of this on a blog, and you can read about it here. One person, stepping out of her comfort zone, and loving those hurting and broken with the love of God. Beautiful. Inspiring. God can bring healing and hope to others when we choose to act.

And I hope that which has been stirred in my heart today will lead to action. It's so easy to give excuses for inaction.

A Day Off of School...

2011-10-28T21:34:00.000-05:00

a quick trip to walmart for all stuff needed for our fun, and donuts to start the day.
a long walk with a friend and her sweet baby. Oops, forgot a picture!
an attempt at making our very first scarecrow.

carving our pumpkins. I tried drilling mine this year. Mike loves his Spartans. Sarah's has the biggest grin. And Morgan's has the cute tongue.

and making some yummy new recipes. Homemade soft pretzel bites. Homemade mozzarella sticks. and our favorite, homemade chicken nuggets.

and staying up late to cheer on the Cardinals!! We also made these fun baseball cookies to help us celebrate! Loved girls hilarious questions during the game, like: "Do they use pizza boxes for bases?" and "Why is the guy behind the batter wearing a tux?"

The Gift of an Ordinary Morning

2011-10-27T22:55:00.002-05:00

Today was just an ordinary morning...the only thing making it un-ordinary was my choice to pause and notice all the joys the morning held.

Before the sun had crested the horizon, I crept into the girls room. Kissing warm checks. Smoothing their crazy hair the fairies seemed to have danced in last night. Whispering into their ears 'good mornings' and 'I love yous'. Sleepy eyelids opening. Discussing weather and possible clothing choices. Since I was not working today, I found a book I wanted to finish, flipped on the switch the fireplace, watched flames dance warmth into the room, fixed some hot chocolate, snuggled into my blanket.

Then, pausing to chat with girls during breakfast. Rice Krispies left spilled on counter tops. Listening to daughters make up songs in front of bathroom mirror. Daughter asking if she can wear said shoes. Not my first choice, but then I remember the quote I read "some girls are just born with glitter in their veins." "Sure, you can wear those shoes." Five minute reminder to finish up and head out the door to catch the school bus. No lunches to make this morning. They are happy to eat school pizza. School notebooks signed. School bags on shoulders, coats on. I make sure to make eye contact as I hug them goodbye. "Love you, Have a great day!" "You too, mom. Love you!" Kisses left to dry on foreheads.

Door closes. I snuggle back into couch and continue reading. Two pages left to go on my book and the phone rings at 8:22. Can I work today? School begins in 8 minutes. "Sure! I'll be there shortly!" And so my 'to do list' for the morning had to wait, and yet, I am thankful for the extra few moments I had to pause and remember what a gift the everyday ordinary-ness of my life is!!

Getting Dunked

2011-10-22T21:32:00.001-05:00

We've been talking with the girls this past year about baptism. Obviously, we wanted to make sure they understood what it was before they got baptized. Well tonight, at our church, was "Fall Splash" and they decided they did want to get baptized. I asked them to write down why they were getting baptized.

Sarah wrote, "I'm getting baptized because I want to show people I made God my forever friend." So I asked her how she knows he's her forever friend, to which she responded "I did my ABCs. A - [admit] tell God you are a sinner. B - Believe Jesus is the son of God. C- Confess Jesus is your savior."

Morgan wrote, "I'm getting baptized because I want to show everybody that I chose Jesus as my forever friend. I want to show that I believe in Jesus and he died for me and the world." And again, how did she know he was her forever friend? "A - I admitted to God that I sinned so I have to turn away from my sin. B - I have to believe that Jesus is my forever friend and my savior and my lord. C- I confessed that he is my savior and he is my friend forever."

God wants relationship with us. And that's what I want them to understand. Yes, the God of the universe, cares deeply about us, and desires to be in relationship with us. He has made a way (Jesus) for this to be possible. He will always be there for them. I hope this is a day they remember for always, and when 'life happens' and gets rough - I hope they remember that God is there, walking with them, desiring relationship with them. He has purposes and plans for their lives. Baptism isn't salvation. They make that choice in their hearts. But it is a beautiful act, of faith, showing others the choice their heart made.

Our church has baptized over 1,000 people this past year!! I'm not sure how many will get baptized this weekend, at least a couple hundred, I'm sure. I love the excitement and celebration of baptism (as you will see in the video)! So, without further ado, here is the video from tonight. "I baptize you in the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit..."

True Beauty

2011-10-13T21:13:00.001-05:00

My beautiful daughters.

Each passing year I get to be these girls' mom, I am more and more aware of how deeply I want them to understand true beauty. To know that even more important than how beautiful they are on the outside, it is what's inside of them that will carry them well through life. To have positive self-esteem. In a world that seems to insist little girls grow up too quickly and 'sexy' seems to be encouraged at a younger and younger age (do you hear my sigh?) - I want them to know that being modest is beautiful too. That's why I love www.secretkeepergirl.com, because they exist to help instill the value of true beauty into tween girls. Secret Keeper Girls has a national 'pajama party tour' for tweens and their moms - and I had a fun night with the girls at the event earlier this week!

We ate dinner at Andy's before the Secret Keeper Event! & of course I let them get hot fudge jackhammered into the middle of their concretes!

Lucky us - we have wonderful neighbors!
The girls (and their moms) came with us!

The Sky is Falling!!

2011-10-04T19:15:00.004-05:00

This time of year, I find myself saying "the sky is falling, the sky is falling!" quite often. You see, before there were houses in our neighborhood, there was a walnut farm here. So needless to say, the walnuts are sure falling everywhere around us this time of year! Think, pool balls falling from trees, okay maybe not that heavy, but certainly that large!

Additionally, the school book fair is this week and the girls wanted extra money to buy books. So, I challenged them last week to begin picking up walnuts. The trailer was full today, so we took them to the huller. Side note: The majority of black walnuts sold in the united states come from Missouri! And for all their hard work...they got $27.72! Of course they had divide it among their friends who helped them out this past week, but they still ended up with $8/each. So, they are filling the trailer again! :) The walnuts have to be picked up anyways, and the neighbors appreciate the help, and they are outside enjoying the fall weather! It's a great thing! I guess money really does grow on trees!

Update: 10.7.11 - Sold another load for $31.20!!
Update: 10.11.11 - Sold another load for $34.20!!
Total: almost 800 lbs of hulled walnuts!! $12/per 100 lbs.
Updated: 10.27.11 - Sold another load for $49.10 (491 lbs of hulled walnuts! $10/lb now)

Waiting our turn at the Huller. That's a lot of walnuts!!

Putting our walnuts into the huller.

Worms (by Sarah)

2011-09-30T18:10:00.001-05:00

Everything you ever needed to know about worms, according to Sarah, age 8. (Sarah wrote the following paper at school.)
This is a worm. My sister thinks worms are grows {gross}. I don't think they are. Worms are nice they make your flowers grow by pooping. My mom likes worms because she likes seeing her pretty flowers. A worm is slimey. They can brake in half and still be alive. Worms are pink but they look a little brown because of the brown dirt.

Fleeting

2011-09-30T08:33:00.001-05:00

So, this morning, Sarah brings me this picture from her room. On the back I had simply scribbled "Sisters Forever, March 2006". And I am reminded how fleeting each season of my life truly is. It seems like yesterday we were at playgroup, at the mall, when a photographer from Sears asked if we'd be willing to get a free picture taken, as part of a new gal's training. Well, sure! This isn't the best picture of the girls during that season of our lives, but for me, it captures the everyday sweetness of my life then. Oh, this season of my life is quite sweet too...last weekend we collected leaves on our walk, and took the girls to their first high school football game. So here are a few pictures to capture this ever fleeting, amazingly wonderful thing called my life! :)

Sister's Forever, March 2006, ages 3 & 4

Friday Night Lights, Sept 2011, ages 8 & 10

First Signs of Autumn, September 2011

2011-09-18T19:51:00.000-05:00

So, I've heard about Pinterest for some time now, I knew I'd love, but I've resisted, because I was afraid I'd love it too much and spend waaaay tooo much time on it! Well since it's been raining NON-STOP all weekend (and we desperatly needed rain, so I'm not complaining!) I decided to hop onto Pinterest today and play around! What a really fun website!

It's basically an online cork board to put all your favorite ideas you find while searching the internet... which meets facebook. See, not only do I have cork boards, but my friends, and others, can also post ideas they find on the internet on their cork boards, then if I like their ideas, or they like mine, we can just 'repin' the idea onto our cork board. You can add comments too. I've already found several neat ideas. And I don't have to search through my long list of bookmarks or try to remember where it was I saw it - I simply go to pinterest and click on the picture of it on my cork board...and viola! Organized Ideas!! LOVE IT!!

One Craft I found on Pinterest Today.
Real Leaves Dipped in Wax.

And you can make as many cork boards as you'd like... a few of my cork boards include: Love this idea! Projects to try with my girls (btw - showed them the projects I found...they are excited to try them out!), Camping Sweet Camping, Collecting Quotes, Glimpses of Heaven, and Yummy!

If you've never heard of Pinterest or tried it out - what are you waiting for?! Can't wait to see what cork boards you make!

(in)courage (in)spired deals: Beautiful Journal, Beautiful Truth

2011-09-13T06:52:00.000-05:00

(in)courage has these monthly giveaways - they have a monthly theme and will send you a free product, and in return, ask for an honest and fair review of the product on your blog. (Click here to go to their website to find out more.) So, I thought, why not? I like this month's theme, based on a book titled, God's Heart for You: Embracing Your True Worth as a Woman by Holley Gerth.

My face broke into a smile when my free gift actually arrived in the mail! I recieved the journal companion to her book, the cover alone speaking truth, "In God's heart you are...delightful, free, loved, valued, strong, wonderfully made, chosen, accepted, blessed, irreplaceable." Oh, sweet truths that I need reminded of every day! The journal itself is beautifully made - sturdy, modern, fun . The pages inside are colorful, with inspiring photos, quotes and encouragement from her book. The journal still leaves lots of room to write your own thoughts on the pages themselves. Have you ever journaled before? I don't always keep one, but I love looking back on the ones I have and 'remembering when'. They are becoming treasures as the years go by. If you're looking to start journaling or if you'd like to give a gift to a sweet friend, I'd highly recommend purchasing this journal, through Blessings Unlimited.

Friendships

2011-09-12T10:35:00.000-05:00

Make new friends, but keep the old,

one is silver and the other is gold.

The last few weeks, we've enjoyed spending times with friends we haven't seen in awhile. My very dearest friend is Lori, and our girls share a special friendship, as well, meet...Morgan, Sarah, Madi and Morgan. Despite the 3 years since we've moved and the new friendships we've made, they still take about 3.3 seconds to reconnect and dive into friendship. Lori and I still talk every week on the phone, but it is sure good to spend time together in person too! We still miss them dearly...and as Lori said, in many ways they feel more like cousins than family! Here's a few pics from our day at Silver Dollar City!

Lonnie & Jennifer were friends long before any of us had kids. They are the kind of friends who will be there for you no matter what! Their beautiful hearts were deep enough to adopt three beautiful children! We had fun camping with them...the last time we had gone was 10 years ago, Morgan's first camping trip, just shy of 3 months old!

Labor Day Memories

2011-09-06T12:13:00.000-05:00

Glad my parents made it down for Labor Day weekend...we enjoyed bowling, canoeing, playing games, the girls biked and flew kites with grandpa, painted with grandma (aren't their paintings adorable!?), mom and I went to garage sales, and we ate WAY too much ice cream, frozen custard and frozen yogurt, but it was oh so yummy!! So thankful for the memories, for me, and for the girls with their grandparents.

1000 Gifts. Counted.

2011-08-30T09:55:00.000-05:00

Well seven months and 13 days after I began my 'counting' - I did it! I've paused and counted 1000 gifts in my life. Oh, I've probably duplicated a couple here and there, but that's okay, I'll keep counting, and some are worth counting more than once anyway, right? Below is a list of some of the gifts I've included at the end of my list.

Additionally, I was reminded in a phone call with a friend this morning, that every breath, every moment we have on this journey is a gift. This pausing helps me to not take it for granted and to fully live in this amazing, wonderful, sometimes painful and confusing, journey we call life!

Fresh vegetables, especially free ones from neighbors
Mike’s ‘sure’ when I ask him to stop by the store on the way home from work for me!
Mike sitting down and looking at the girl’s projects when they ask him to.
Ibuprofen
Weekends
Rainbows
Daughters dancing in the rain
Morgan noticing the sunset tonight & wanting me to pause & see it
Walks after rain drenched the earth
The gift of calmness I had dealing with daughter’s attitude
Joy I find in ‘organizing’
Half price sonic drinks
All the tools mike owns
All the projects he tackles for me!
Games
Laughter with friends
People in my past (youth) who were there for me and made a difference in my life!
New friendship
Unexpected days of employment
Pizza back on school lunch menu
A calm and patient husband
Sun kissing treetops
Wave reflections dancing on boat’s side
Mike changing the rhythms of dancing reflections
Adoption
Mosquito spray
Squeals, smiles & laughter of kids bouncing on tube behind boat
Longtime friendships
Worn out feeling from playing hard
Luxury of ice and simple happiness it brings me
Smell of aloe nourishing sun kissed skin
Slowed down pace of camping
Chocolate pudding on children’s faces
Smells of campfire cooking
Ooey gooey messy fun of s'mores
Honesty of kids
Red veins on green leaves
A husband to hug
“Goodnight” moments with the girls
Long walks that seem short when accompanied by good conversation
God loving me in each of these gifts.

First Day of School, Day 3

2011-08-19T10:58:00.002-05:00

Well it's day three of the school year and Sarah was so ecstatically happy this morning -- finally she gets to begin her 3rd grade year today!! She was bouncing out of bed an hour early today with a grin a mile wide! So glad she is finally fever free, and thankful her 'sickness' never amounted to more than that!

Click on picture to read the letter.

And as much as I was ready for school to begin, I did enjoy my couple of days with just her. She made me 'mail' and put in our mailbox while she was home (see picture) to surprise me! We read two entire Junie B. Jones book - and I loved snuggling with her and listening to her giggle out loud at the funny parts. (And I wondered, did I ever laugh out loud when I read books like that?!) We also picnicked outside, played perfection, finished her summer scrapbook, and worked on a sewing project she had started six months ago.

This girl is sweetness itself and it just oozes out through her smile and laughter. She's gonna have a 'grate' year, I'm sure!

First Day of School

2011-08-17T08:51:00.001-05:00

My beautiful daughter, Morgan, begins 5th Grade today! And let me tell you how beautiful she is, the first thing she says when she wakes up this morning? "I'm going to make Sarah a special breakfast this morning when she wakes up!" You see, Sarah has had a fever the last two days, so Morgan knew her sister wasn't going to be able to go to school on the first day of school and she wanted her sister to have a special morning too! (See, I told you she was beautiful!) Well the good news is that Sarah woke up bubbly and with no fever, so hopefully she can have her 'first day' of school tomorrow! :) Crossing my fingers!

Unsettled and The Impact Effect

2011-08-16T13:08:00.000-05:00

I'm kinda excited about two new books coming out next month. First...unsettled: life beyond the yellow ragged couch...

For ten years, we attended this church in Columbia, MO (and then later in Jeff City, MO when they opened a campus there) called Woodcrest. I got to hear Piet Van Warde speak every week, and I never tired of listening to his messages. I appreciated his authenticity, because God often spoke through him to my heart about what I needed to hear. Something tells me that God may just once again speak to me again through Piet's words, in his newest book, unsettled, so I am looking forward to getting a copy of it soon! Here's the facebook page for unsettled.

Next...The Impact Effect: A revolutionary vision for compassion in your community and the world...

I really didn't want to leave 'woodcrest' - it was one of the hardest part of our move. And yet, God led us to another amazing church, led by Tommy Sparger, called North Point Church (NPC). What I love about NPC is how hands on they are about living out the christian life in the community and around the world. Their love for others here in our town and across the globe is real and authentic and inspiring. It's not about talking or programs...it's about action...and making a difference...and loving others with the love that God has placed in our hearts. He explains it all in this book. Here's more info on Tommy's blog about The Impact Effect.

17th Anniversary Memories

2011-08-15T16:13:00.000-05:00

17+3=20

2011-08-13T06:30:00.012-05:00

17 years of marriage + 3 years of dating = 20 years of love!!!

Here are 3 songs to help us celebrate! :)

#1 Brad Paisley's, "Then" - it's my newest favorite.
What I can't see is how I'm ever gonna love you more,
But I've said that before.
We'll look back some day at this moment that we're in,
And I'll look at you and say, 'and I thought I loved you then'...

#2 Martina McBride's "All the Things we've never done" - Discovered this one about 10 years ago and LOVE it! You have to listen to all of it to fully appreciate it!

#3 Steven Curtis Chapman's "I will be here" - This will always be 'our song' - from our dating years, and has only grown more sweeter as the years go by...

Here are the lyrics:
Tomorrow morning if you wake up
And the sun does not appear, I will be here.

If in the dark we lose sight of love,
Hold my hand and have no fear, ‘Cause I will be here.

CHORUS
I will be here when you feel like being quiet;
When you need to speak your mind, I will listen.
And I will be here when the laughter turns to crying;
Through the winning, losing, and trying, we’ll be together,
‘Cause I will be here.

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
And the future is unclear, I will be here.

As sure as seasons are made for change,
Our lifetimes are made for years, So I will be here.

CHORUS
I will be here, so you can cry on my shoulder;
When the mirror tells us we’re older, I will hold you.
And I will be here to watch you grow in beauty,
And tell you all the things you are to me;
I will be here.

I will be true to the promise I have made,
To you and to the One who gave you to me.

As sure as seasons are made for change,
Our lifetimes are made for years,
So I, I will be here.
We'll be together and i will be here.

Growing Up

2011-08-11T09:02:00.000-05:00

So I've been noticing more and more things that are kinda nice about the girls growing up, for example, this week in KC:

I haven't had to push an elevator button even once.
I haven't had to get ice from the hotel ice machine.
They willingly made me a PB sandwich each day for lunch.
They have held the door open for me and for strangers countless times.
I don't have to be in the pool with them constantly. I can sit poolside and read a book while they happily splash about.
They can walk longer distances without me having to carry them any more.

And yet, at the same time, looking back at our trip to KC three years ago, it's amazing how little has changed.
For this week, we've enjoyed these simple pleasures, some shared with Mike, others with just my girls and I when he was in training. We rode escalators up and down, visited the pool too many times to count (once after dark), splashed together, played 'sea monster', went shopping, had breakfast in bed while watching cartoons, enjoyed the view from our 40th floor room, ran down 23 flights of stairs for fun, laughed together, had pillow fights, ran thru fountains, played cards and banagrams, we let mini trains deliver our dinner again, we toured Hallmark and the Money Museum and made crafts at Kaleidoscope, we explored the art museum and saw Monet's work, and we 'dressed up' to go share cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory! I've definitely enjoyed this week hanging out in KC! And everything we did (except dining and the girls had their own 'shopping money') was free!! :)

waiting for dad to take us The Cheesecake Factory!

Sarah, "Mom, I'm getting a picture of you on your phone!"

The Sweet Joy of Daughters!!

Yes, the girls loved being on the 40th floor!

Night time, roof top, swimming, apparently makes us "the most awesomest parents!"

Summertime's Last Hurrah

2011-08-08T08:36:00.000-05:00

Well our last week of summertime is upon us, next week my girls will begin 3rd and 5th grade! And while I'm slightly grieving the end of one more summertime in my girl's childhood, I'm also looking forward to the routine the school year brings, as well as the chance to work (substitute teach) again! :)

As for this past summer, I really have no regrets (other than deleting most of our 'a to z' summertime pictures!). The first part of our summer was busy, busy FUN...visit from my sister's family, camping, our grand adventure to the Grand Canyon, a visit from Mike's brother's family. The second part of our summer has been filled with relaxing days at home that inspire creativity in my girls, with the fun of our a to z days mixed in, as well as camping and trips to the lake, and scrapbooking with the girls their own books of our Grand Canyon trip.

Our last hurrah is this week at the Crown Center in Kansas City. Mike is here for training with work, so the girls and I are hanging out...visiting Hallmark's Kalediscope center, playing in fountains, shopping, and hanging at the pool (when the weather cooperates), going to the Money Museum...and the best part...all our fun is free (well, other than the shopping!) We'll play all day then join up with Mike in the evening, which will hopefully include at least one night to The Cheesecake Factory!

When the lady at the front desk asked Mike how high we wanted to be in our hotel, he said "as high as we can!" - so we ended up on the top floor! That would be #40!! He definitely scored brownie points with his girls who were screaming and giggling and, well, you can't even imagine the excitement!! It's quite the view too. And I'm trying to get over my fears...of gettting stuck in the elevator with two girls, of there being a fire in the middle of the night, of storms blowing out windows. Sometimes I wish my heart still beheld the naive innocence that my girl's hearts hold...and I could just be excited about being on the 40th floor!

Dear FEMA,

2011-08-06T12:59:00.002-05:00

(Read the first letter to FEMA by clicking here.)

I should feel sweet victory. But honestly, I am simply disgusted with you and your policies. I think it's horrible that someone in an air conditioned office can simply 'redraw' the flood lines. And because of this, we are REQUIRED to pay for FEMA flood insurance (by our mortgage company) because all of a sudden our home is an 'high risk flood zone'!

Well, we KNEW our house was not in a high risk flood zone, so we paid $300 for a surveyor to prove it. Then we had to pay you another $321 for flood insurance, because our mortgage company only gave us 60 days to get this 'flood insurance' and you take 60 days to approve or deny a request, we simply did not have enough time after getting the survey, and filling out your forms, to prove in time that indeed our home was NOT in a flood plain.

We now have our LOMA form that officially removes our home from a high -risk flood plain, but your error cost us over $600 to prove it! So, if you'd like to do the right thing and reimburse us for the expenses of your error, you know where to send the check. The only sweet victory that is mine is that I don't have to keep paying you $321 a year for the rest of our mortgage!

Sincerely,
Cathy

It's HOT!!!

2011-08-04T13:54:00.000-05:00

I can't believe how hot it's been. I've certainly been missing Michigan Summers. Since we moved to Missouri 15 years ago, this is the first summer we haven't traveled back to Michigan in the summertime. Don't know if a Michigan gal will ever get acclimated to a Missouri summer! Just look at a few of the 'facts' about Missouri's heat -

We've set record highs the past 3 days in a row.
We even set a record high for the month of August at 108.
Mind you this is Missouri in the summer, so add in humidity and the heat indexes are well over 110.
This is the hottest summer in Missouri in the past 25 years.
We went to 'moonlight madness' to ride the roller coasters last night. When we arrived at Silver Dollar City at 6pm, the heat index was reading 117 on my phone. When we left at 10pm, it was reading 102 on my phone.
My air conditioning is set at 82 - and that's still 25+ degrees colder than the outside temperatures!

We did try to cook an egg on the sidewalk the other day...but it didn't work. We might have to try it again!

And really, I love the sun, just not the heat - look at this gorgeous picture I got at sunset camping this past weekend. Yes, we were crazy enough to camp in this heat!!

Yes, I'm SOOO thankful for our central air conditioning!! And I'm thankful no season lasts forever...

Confessions

2011-07-31T18:52:00.000-05:00

Confession #1. I wish these years with the girls would never end. It's hard for me to imagine Morgan and Sarah not being a part of my every day life one day. (And yes I'm crying right now.) I want to always hear them laughing out loud in the back seat of the car. I want to always enjoy their squeals as they fly on the tube across the lake. I want to always cheer them on as they practice dive after dive. I want to always wake up camping with them sleeping next to me in a tent. And yet, I know I'll cherish their growing up too. I just know these sweet days are going to end before I'm ready for them too! And I'm reminded...cherish the moments...all we have are moments on the journey...

Confession #2. I love Mountain Dew. I know there is absolutely nothing good about it, but I LOVE it. Mike does too. Tomorrow we are challenging each other to give up soda...(maybe forever?!?). There's a $100 bucks on the line to the one who holds out the longest!

Confession #3. Sometimes I feel guilty that I am not using my college degree. That I'm not contributing financially to our family in a bigger way than substitute teaching allows. That I'm not touching lives through a career in social work. I worry that it will be hard to get back into the field after all the years of being at home with the girls. And yet, back to confession #1 - I know deep down that I'm making the right choice for our family right now. And I'm thankful that Mike feels it's the right choice too. And I'm thankful we've built a lifestyle that makes it possible. Life is about moments, and yet it's also about choices...

Family Fun Magazine

2011-07-22T20:57:00.000-05:00

I only receive one magazine subscription. It's to Family Fun. I LOVE this magazine and I always find at least one activity to do with the girls. As soon as I saw the stained glass window project...I knew we were doing it! Here's the link on how do this project: http://familyfun.go.com/crafts/non-staining-glass-1019768/ - I also LOVE their website - I always go there for cool projects! This project is super easy...cover window with saran wrap, tape edges with painter's tape, tear up tissue paper, glue on window (I watered down glue w/water (half/half) for them to glue them on with). It kept them busy for a couple of hours! I thought they turned out super cute and the summer sun looks beautiful shinning thru them! What magazine subscriptions do you love?!

A to Z Summer Fun

2011-07-21T07:10:00.005-05:00

Last summer we did our first A to Z Summer fun! This year we are keeping some of the same days, and adding in some different days. And with the first half of our summer so busy, I did have to double up a few days this year in order to get them all squeezed in! When making our list I try and think of everything I want to do at least once with the girls during the summer...and put it on here so that we make sure the fun happens before summer slips away! Last summer I was great about getting pictures of each day...this year...well, not so well. But here are a couple. Perhaps it's the heat getting to me?!

"B" Day: Baking Day!
This is their own creation, cookie dough dipped in melted chocolate chips. Umm, yay, they were yummy!

"E" Day: Experiment Day
Polymers let you poke a pencil thru a bag full of water without spilling any of it! Look at that concentration!

Well, today we are on "K" day and I'm glad my girls love this a to z summer fun as much as I do! :)

July 7^th A Arts & Crafts – Village Pottery

July 8^th B Baking Day

July 11^th C Camera scavenger Hunt

July 12^th D Donuts delivered to Dad

July 13^th E Experiment Day

July 14^th F Friendship Day

July 15^th G Game Day – Make up some games

July 18^th H Hershey Day

July 19^th I Ice Cream Day

July 20^th J Jump in the Pool!

July 21^st K Kindness Day

July 22^nd L Laugh, Laugh,Laugh

July 25^th M Mystery Monday

July 26^th N-O Neighbors over for Outside Fun!

July 27^th P Pizza at the Park with Pop

July 28^th Q Quiet Day

July 29^th R Republic Aquatic Center

Aug 1^st S Scrapbooking

Aug 2^nd T-U Take a Trip to an Ultimate Surprise

Aug 3^rd V Video Game Day

Aug 4^th W Wilson’s Creek Jr. Ranger Badge

Aug 5^th X-Y Xtra Fun at the Y-Center

Aug 12^th Z Zippity-do-dah Day!

Yum, yum, yummy: Freezer Meals

2011-07-18T15:19:00.003-05:00

Well anyone who knows me well knows that I HATE to cook! Seriously, if I was rich, the first thing I'd do would be hire a chef! Speaking of rich, check out this house that is being built about 30 minutes from our house - 72,000 square feet - all made of concrete - one of the largest homes in America: click here to see it. Personally, I think it's a waste of money, but it's not my money to waste!

Back to food. The girls have recently decided they LIKE to cook dinner. Last week, with much enthusiasm they made us spaghetti, pancakes and loaded baked potatoes for dinner. And I'm LOVING this!!! I'm trying to be in the kitchen more with them since they are enjoying it, but it's not something that comes easy for me.

Last summer I shared a few of our favorite freezer meal recipes. And I thought I'd share a couple more with you now. Enjoy!

Very Veggie Lasagna
(a summertime favorite for all those veggies from the garden! Note: I usually make this one recipe in 2 9x9 pans, we eat one and freeze one for later, rather than the 13x9 pan.)

2 med carrots, julienned
1 med zucchini cut into 1/4 in slices
1 yellow summer squash, cut into 1/4 in slices
1 med onion, sliced
1 cup broccoli florets
1/2 cup sliced celery
1/2 cup red julienned sweet red pepper
1/2 cup julienned green pepper
2 T vegetable oil
1 teas salt
2 garlic gloves
1 jar (28 oz) spaghetti sauce
14 lasagna noodles, cooked and drained
4 cups shredded cheese

In large skillet, stir fry vegetables, garlic and salt in oil until crisp tender.
Spread 3/4 cup spaghetti sauce in greased 13x9 in dish.
Arranged 7 noodles over the sauce, overlapping as needed
Layer with half of veggies, spaghetti sauce and cheese.
Repeat Layers
Cover and bake at 350 degrees from 60 minutes or until bubbly. Let stand 15 min before cutting.
If you freeze one, bake an extra 30 min or so.

Homemade Chicken Nuggets
(take a little time, but I usually make double/triple batches, and they are so worth it!)

- 3-4 raw Chicken Breasts (sliced into either strips or cut into nuggets)
- 3 T melted Margarine or butter
- 1 T Worcestershire
- 1 cup Italian bread crumbs
1/2 c. grated Parmesan cheese

In small bowl, mix Margarine & Worcestershire sauce together. In separate bowl, mix bread crumbs and cheese together. Dip chicken into margarine mixture, then dip it into bread/cheese mixture. Place chicken on cookie sheet. Flash freeze chicken for an hour. Then remove from cookie sheet and place in a ziploc freezer bag until ready to bake.

Serve: SPRAY pan (I always forget this step, not a good idea!). Bake uncovered for 30 min at 375 degrees, or until juice in chicken runs clear. Turn once with tongs.

Knots

2011-07-13T21:13:00.000-05:00

I just finished a book (The Red Tent) and I have been thinking about this one paragraph over and over the past few days. The main character is moving on to a new season in her life and she is reflecting...remember all the good of the past 20 years, and then she remarks that among the years there had been pain too, but "the painful things-seemed like the knots on a beautiful necklace, necessary for keeping the beads in place."

I hope that will be true in my life...that when I look back, I will see a beautiful necklace...with beautiful beads...and knots that only enhance the beauty and keep it all in place.

In-laws

2011-07-07T15:43:00.000-05:00

I know that not everyone gets along with their in-laws. And I know that some people have legit reasons for not getting along with their in-laws. But I've got to say that every time I get together with my in-laws, we have the best of times! Perhaps it's shared tragedy that bonds us to something bigger beyond pettiness. Perhaps it's the distance that makes the times we gather even sweeter. Perhaps they are just wonderful people whom I get to call 'family'. Whatever it is, I'm thankful for them. We couldn't get together with everyone this summer...well, they live in MA, WI, NY, NC and FL - so it's a bit of a challenge - we saw most of them last summer and hope we can again next summer.

This past week was spent with the Boston Bakers - and I find myself a bit sad today, wishing the miles were a bit shorter, and the girls could have more time with their cousins. But I am certainly thankful for the opportunities like this past week where we packed in the fun!

Celebrating #10

2011-06-27T11:07:00.000-05:00

A few moments captured in time...

2011-06-26T20:47:00.000-05:00

I still have LOTS of pictures to sort through, but I just thought I'd share these ones right now..

A Journey of 3,000 Miles...

2011-06-25T22:27:00.003-05:00

I’ve always liked the saying, “A journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step.” For this trip, perhaps it should read, “A journey of 3,000 miles begins with a single birthday wish…” We are on our way home, and I find myself wishing this desolate land between home and the west would offer a bit more pleasurable views for our driving enjoyment. But this ‘nothingness’ gives me time for reflection. And because of this amazing invention called a ‘laptop’, I can type away as the miles roll on and on and on…there are some things you just gotta love about this ‘modern’ world!

And I wonder, 20 years from now, what will Morgan and Sarah remember about this trip?! What stories from this trip will be told to my grandkids one day down the road? What memories will Mike and I always hold…after we return home, life settles back into routine, and the years keep flying by? I guess that’s part of the mystery and the fun of an unknown future.

I’ve taken lots of photos this trip, trying to capture some of the moments along the way, and yet I am also aware that pictures fail to capture so much of the experience. I’m hoping at some point when I’m less sleep deprived and not still on a ‘high’ from this trip, I will awake one morning and be able to capture into words some of this grand adventure. But to begin, here are some of the experiences we had on this trip…

We found joy in a can of spray paint. We meandered through a petrified crystal forest. We observed the beauty of minerals in the Painted Desert. We immersed ourselves in frigid mountain stream water for the thrill of siding down natural rocks. We traversed over lava rocks beneath Sunset Crater. We found flowers in unexpected places. We attempted to experience the refreshing coolness of the ‘blow hole’ in ancient Indian ruins. We beheld a shared wonder of viewing the Grand Canyon for the first time. We held hands often. We froze (42 degrees) and huddled together as we watched the sunrise over the Grand Canyon welcoming Morgan into the next decade of her life. We put a candle in her muffin and sang her happy birthday on top of that canyon rim. We took a relaxing horseback ride at sunset thru the ponderosa pines of the Kaibab Forest. We ventured downward into the Grand Canyon and back up again (only for about 1.5 hours). We strolled along the rim’s top, snapping countless photos. With gratitude we watched our girls skip everywhere. We enjoyed stiff breezes that kept us cool during the day. We camped. We enjoyed s’mores and campfires. We let our faces reflect the sun’s concluding rays as it fell over the Grand Canyon. We sat in awe at the brilliance of the stars after the sun went down. We had no bedtimes. We were amazed at the sight of Saturn’s rings through a telescope. We rafted (smooth water) down the Colorado River, thru Glen Canyon. We froze in even colder water of the Colorado River (ok they did, I wasn’t getting in 47 degree water!). We splashed in hotel pools. We kept a lookout for mountain lions and bears, but alas, we saw neither. We toured ancient pueblo Indian ruins at Mesa Verde. We watched our girls get ‘sworn in’ as Jr. Ranger’s and Grand Canyon and Mesa Verde. We rose above the treetops on the ski lift and soaked in the mountain views. We screamed flying down the half-mile Alpine slide on the mountain side. We had a picnic on top of the mountain. We watched a ‘gun-fight’ in the streets of Silverton. We burned our feet in the sand of the Great Sand Dunes. We listened to our girls sing countless songs. We laughed at silliness. And of course, we also thanked God often for the opportunity to experience all this beautiful creation of His!! Yes, we journeyed these 3,000 miles together and regardless of what details we remember, I’m certain it is a trip that will endure in our hearts for the rest of our days.

And in 19 months, Sarah will turn 10…I wonder where she will choose?! Rumor has it that our next adventure may be more “Magical” than “Grand”, but we will see if she chooses Disney or elsewhere in the end! J

Double Digit Day

2011-06-19T05:12:00.049-05:00

So after living her entire life in the single-digits, today, my beautiful daughter, will jump into the double digits for the rest of her life. And while there is a chance she may reach 100 one day, chances are greater that this is the only time in her life she will ever add another digit to her years.

When Mike & I were dating or early married (funny how 20 years later, those early years of 'us' tend to blend together) we saw a movie about a kid celebrating a double digit birthday. It was quite sad, I believe he was dying, and so for his double digit birthday, he wanted to see the ocean, and he got to. I wish I could remember the name of the movie, or more details, but I can't. But for whatever reason, after seeing that movie, we knew that we would do something BIG for our kids when they turned 10!!

So, we are letting them choose where to travel to on their 10th birthday (within limits). Morgan's first choice was Italy, but that was simply not in the budget. So after discussing lots of places we could go...she chose the Grand Canyon. It's a place none of us have ever been, so we are thrilled to be traveling there. She wants to watch the sunrise over the Grand Canyon on her 10th birthday (5:12am) and conclude her birthday riding horses into the sunset. (Ok, let me wipe away a tear that just slipped out.) So I'm writing this post prior to our trip and scheduling it to post on 5:12am on her birthday, because on her birthday, I'm planning to live in the moment and breathe in every gift that is given to me that day.

Morgan, you have brought joy and love and laughter to our lives. I find all the moments of watching you grow to be bittersweet - it's so sweet that you are growing and discovering your place in this world and who God made you to be - and yet the reality is, your growing means your days with us are numbered. There are a thousand moments I wish I could go back and redo, but I am human, and imperfect, and trying to figure this parent thing out just as much as you are trying to figure life out. And yet I hope you never doubt my deep love for you, my intense joy of having you for a daughter, and my sincere desire to guide you the best I can into adulthood. I love you and I thank God every day for the gift of you! Happy 10th Birthday, Sunshine!!

Westward Ho!

2011-06-17T08:38:00.000-05:00

So in the middle of the most desolate land...lies an anomaly called cadillac ranch. These Cadillacs are 'planted' along the side of the road and you are encouraged to stop, bring your own spray paint and have a blast! So, since our good friends The Bennes told us about this fun stop, we couldn't resist a chance to graffiti these old cadillacs.

"look at all these paint layers!"

And while for most, this is just a way to have a little fun on your journey, Mike described this place as "a trace examiner's dream" and had a huge smile on his face our entire visit. He collected our first souvenirs and is thrilled that there are 37 years of paint layers that he can 'examine'!

Mike helping Morgan paint "10th Morgan" for her birthday.

Sarah adding her peace sign.

our first souvenirs: paint chips

Luckiest Gals in the World

2011-06-13T09:25:00.001-05:00

Conversation from 2 minutes ago:

Morgan: "Mom, you made a good choice!"
Me: "I did? About what?"
Morgan: "You picked daddy!"
Me: "Why yes I did!"

We are actually celebrating Father's Day today...well because some dads are too special to share a day with all other dads! ;) And because Father's Day falls on Morgan's 10th birthday this year...and all he really wants for Father's Day is a Blackberry concrete from Andy's...and you can't get those in Grand Canyon Village. :) So here's to celebrating the man who makes us all feel like the luckiest gals in the world!!

Crime Lab Camping Trip

2011-06-12T19:41:00.001-05:00

We LOVE camping with Mike's work...and our time with them seems to grow sweeter with each passing campout. Here are 20 more things I added to my "1000 Gifts" list...bringing my number to #695, after returning home today from our most recent time this weekend.

#1 - Dams that create lakes.

#2 - Yummy food I didn't have to plan or prepare.

#3 - Solitary bird filling vast blue sky

#4 - Magical lights flickering in the woods. Mesmerizing those lightening bugs were.

#5 - Refreshing lake water

#6 - Quiet sunsets shared on the boat with Mike

#7 - Amazing people Mike works with.

#8 - Happy people

#9 - Babies and kids and laughter

#10 - Watching people’s ‘happily ever after’ dreams come true

#11 - Glowing embers

#12 - Crackling wood

#13 - A dozen or more sails bobbing along the shoreline

#14 - Wind

#15 - A break from the extreme heat for a few days

#16 - Hammock lulling me into a nap

#17 - Leaves silhouetted against the twilight sky

#18 - Happiness

#19 - Toasted marshmallows

#20 - girls who feel the same way, "Dad, you picked a great job!" - because camping with those he works with is so much fun!

and now that we're home...five more...to top off #700

#21 - hot showers

#22 - washing machines

#23 - air conditioners

#24 - pictures on the camera

#25 - memories in my heart

Summertime Down the Road

2011-06-08T08:37:00.000-05:00

And while my summertime is filled with sweet messy basements, I can't help but feel a bit of sadness for those down the road. Wishing there was so much more I could do for 'my neighbors' in Joplin. Their summer plans look very different than mine...and I grieve for them.

Where would you go...if you couldn't go home...

I appreciate this doctor taking the time to write down his first hand account of living through this nightmare at the hospital. You can read about it by clicking here.

And this is the saddest story I've read out of Joplin (and there are many), but I think I will pray for this dear woman for the rest of my life, because for the life of me I don't know how I could go on if I were in her shoes.

Here is Ms. Edie Howard's story: Sunday afternoon dinner at McCallisters with her husband, toddler and preschooler, she heads off to work in one car, they head away in the other car. Moments later, her family is taking refuge in Home Depot as a tornado barrels down on them. Later, her precious children are found in her husband's arms in the rubble of the Home Depot store. And she asks, "why wasn't I with them?"

May I never forget that

every moment is a precious gift

not to be taken for granted.

Summertime at the Baker House

2011-06-07T13:24:00.001-05:00

So the last time I was in our basement we had two couches, a floor and a pool table. Somehow they have all seemed to have vanished beneath this elaborate fort/reading tent/dressing room/maze the girls have created in our basement. I seriously LOVE lazy summer days at home which inspire creativity like this. AND I'm thankful for a space in our basement where this can happen. HOWEVER, I think for my own sanity, I might need to avoid going down into the basement the rest of the summer, because I think my heart stopped and I actually gasped when I ventured downstairs to find this...(yeah, you don't see couches nor floor either, do you?!) :)

...and where are the girls at, you may ask? Outside in their swimsuits with a bag of water balloons and a hose, finishing up a lunchtime picnic. Oh summertime, we LOVE you!!

The sweet reason I got nothing done today...

2011-06-06T15:46:00.003-05:00

Baby Henry, almost 3 months old

Can't Decide...

2011-06-01T19:40:00.002-05:00

So, I can't decide which wall in my dining room I like the most... my ever changing artwork wall...

or...my new branch decal that I just put up...

what do you think?!

Only in Missourah!

2011-06-01T00:07:00.004-05:00

Well this June marks 15 years since we packed up our belongings and moved to Missouri...pronounced Missourah by most those who live down here. All we knew about Missouri at the time is that the capital city was Jefferson City (yeah for 4th grade state capital tests!) and that this state had an Arch. But after six months of looking for a job after graduation and a 2 inch stack of rejection letters, we were more than thrilled when Mike was offered a job as a criminalist at the Missouri State Highway Patrol Crime Lab, so off we went! Always thinking we'd return to our beloved state of Michigan...

Well here we are 15 years later, still here, and other than missing family immensely, happy to call this home. Tonight Sarah reminded me of a story from our first few weeks of living here. I was on my way to my temp job (with Missouri State Parks) and they asked this question on the radio, "Name 7 body parts that have only 3 letters." One person called in and said "jaw" to which the next caller called in to respond (totally serious I might add), "jaw is not a correct answer, because jaw is spelled j-a-w-l, it has 4 letters." Which left me wondering where in world have I moved to...a bunch of rednecks or hillbillies or something must live here.

Well tonight, I noticed Sarah wrote down this word (on her list of 'boredom buster' ideas for the summer): "drawl" - and I couldn't help but laugh when I saw it. Later when I saw her, I asked her how to spell straw, to which she said, "s-t-r-a-w-l" - and draw? "d-r-a-w-l". Well since I refuse to let my daughter be a complete redneck, I had to explain to her that while people in Missouri say, "you want to drawl?" - and so that's how it sounds to write it, that they really should say, "do you want to draw? - see, no 'l' on the end. So after mini lesson in proper English, we tested out "jaw" - Sarah, how do you think you spell jaw? She answered: 'j-a-w' - and how do you think people in Missouri spell it? 'j-a-w-l' she responded with her big grin. :) That's my girl! :) And dear sweet state of Missouri, and wonderful people whom we've met here - we love ya'll no matter how ya'll talk! ;)

Charlie Bird

2011-05-26T11:56:00.001-05:00

Day 1: Discovery

Just over two weeks ago we discovered a bird's nest with 4 tiny blue eggs tucked inside of it. The exciting part was that the nest rested just inches from where Sarah laid her head every night. Two days after we discovered the eggs, we had a baby bird, whom the girls named Charlie. Sadly, none of the other birds made it (we had several days of 20 degree below our average for this time of year, so it may have just been too cold). They were named cutie, fuzzie and wuzzie.

Baby Charlie Bird is born

With eagerness we checked on Charlie every morning and every night and got to see momma bird (whom they called Beauty) feed him LOTS of worms. So adorable to see up close!! And as soon as Charlie pooped, momma bird put it in her mouth and carried it away (umm, gross!)...and then papa bird came and sat on the nest while momma bird was gone. It was quite the tag team to watch.

Charlie wishing for some worms.

It was definitely hard to get pictures through both a screen and a window - but we did our best. Sarah took several dozen pictures of her 'pet birds'. Today I went in her room and Charlie has now flown away. Hopefully she's not too sad because she's become quite attached to the little guy out her window. We all have. :) Hopefully the birds will return next year so we can experience this joy again! :)

Look closely, he's grown quite a bit in 2 weeks.
I took this last night before he flew away today.

See how close the birds were to Sarah!

Disaster Close to Home: Joplin

2011-05-23T15:16:00.000-05:00

It's hard for me to ignore disasters. Perhaps it's because they make me feel vulnerable. That could be me. That could be people I love. You think terrible things will never happen to you or those you love, but they can. Perhaps it's because I have this desire within me to want to help, to fix, to comfort... those broken and hurting due to disasters beyond their control. Seriously, I've thought more than once, I should be a part of a disaster response team. Do I ever take steps to make that happen? NO. But every time a disaster happens, this nudge wells up inside of me. Part of me says that perhaps when my kids are grown, it will be a path I'll pursue. Who knows. But I'm trying to pay attention to what this stirring is inside of me and figure it out. It's part of that same desire that made me get my degree in social work.

Yesterday our pastor said, "Your path trumps your intentions." I can't stop thinking about that in so many areas of my life, including this one. Forget my intentions to help in disasters...what path am I taking to help?

I have been reminded that sometimes they best thing you can do before disaster strikes, is to give without ever even knowing what difference your time or resources will make. It happened just before the Haiti earthquake - I went to Convoy of Hope and packed meals - a week later the earthquake hit and those meals were being sent to Haiti to help feed victims. Two weeks ago both Morgan and Sarah put their money together, and I used girl scout money (half/half thing), and bought items needed to make Hygiene Disaster Kits (we were grieving those hurting in Alabama tornadoes). So at a troop meeting we talked about 'making the world a better place' and about being 'considerate and caring' and took time to make the kits. We then took the kits we made to Convoy of Hope, so they would have them when the next disaster struck. Little did I/we know that just a couple weeks later the disaster would be just down the road in Joplin.

Today I am working only because the teacher is in Joplin helping her parents and other family members cope with the loss that is all around - the loss of homes, of friends, of a community. I woke up feeling guilty that I'd get paid today only because others are facing deep tragedy. And as much as I want the money...I think there are some people down the road who need it more than I do today.

Extreme Fort Makeover

2011-05-14T15:57:00.001-05:00

Sarah's Wall

Morgan's Wall

This spring the girls have been busy painting the inside of their playhouse. They finally got *most* of the details added this week, although they still have a few ideas of things they'd like to add. Their good friend Maddy helped them with the painting.

Maddy's Wall and curtains

So...I decided to make them some curtains and beanbags to help **transform** this fort into a place that feels special to them and they want to hang out in this summer to read, talk, laugh. I was going to save it for summer, but with Mike gone one night these week, I began to work on it with the girls instead.

I found a flannel back vinyl tablecloth at walmart for less than $5. We cut it to make the curtains. They are stapled to the wall. :)

turned couch into a 'bed'

Then we used the rest to make the beanbags. We made two long bean bags, with which they can use as sit-upons, or put together to make a couch, or lay on as a bed. I thought it would take one hour to hot glue them together. Three days later, they are finally finished and we now have waterproof beanbags!

Plan A: Hot Glue them together. Got first one made and stuffed and then the seem split. Note to self: hot glue does not stick to vinyl tablecloths.
Plan B: Sew them. Pulled out the sewing machine. Actually remembered how to thread it. But it's not working. Then I broke the last needle I had for it.
Plan C: Duct Tape. It appears our duct tape has gone missing. Mike didn't think it would hold either.
Plan D: Sew by hand. Seriously, I hate sewing, but I really wanted to make these. So, the girls and I sat down and spent a couple of hours sewing these. Sarah said that plan D was the best because it was the funnest!

I also found a couple of paper lanterns for only $1/each, which I hung up in their playhouse too!

sisterly love

Morgan, Madisyn, Sarah

As you can see from all their smiles, they are very happy. It's only in the 50s here today and they are insisting they stay outside in the fort. :)

Dear FEMA, This means WAR.

2011-05-14T12:34:00.000-05:00

I'm purely venting. Feel free to have a pity party with me if you'd like.

Our neighbors gave us a heads up about this a few months ago, and today the letter came in the mail from our mortgage company. Someone at FEMA decided to look at the map and redraw the floodplain lines - and move our homes from not just being in a 'no flood plain', but all the way up to being in a HIGH risk flood plain! So now, we are being required to pay FEMA what looks like possibly an extra $150-$200 a MONTH for flood insurance!! and did you know - FEMA draws the flood line and you can only get flood insurance through FEMA? How convenient for them!

The thing is...I am 99.9% convinced our home will NEVER flood! We had our land surveyed a year ago for another reason, so I called the surveyor. He said that 100s of homes in our community have just been 'added' to a high risk flood plain - and of all the homes he's surveyed - none of them have been in the required flood elevation - they are all ABOVE it. So, now we get to pay him a few hundred dollars - and hopefully he can prove that we are above flood elevation. Then we have to submit paper work to FEMA to get an exemption of sorts, then we have to submit paperwork to our mortgage company proving all of this. But you can be sure, we'll do all we can to not be fleeced by FEMA, because that is exactly what feels like is happening.

It's so frustrating...we would have NEVER bought a house in a flood plain. And adding an extra $150-$200 a month to our mortgage would certainly have been taken into consideration BEFORE we bought it. And now we're stuck. And it feels so very unfair. so.very.unfair.

Deeper Ponderings of My Mother's Day

2011-05-08T20:19:00.000-05:00

Sunlight filtering down through the treetops. Hammock gently swaying beneath me. Wispy breeze playing with my hair. Water rushing over rocks, creating the most melodic sound. Morgan crawls into the hammock next to me. The top of her hair ever so gently coming to rest on the side of my cheek. And I inhale the joy of the moment. and I whisper, "I love you Morgan." and she whisper's back, "I love you too, mommy." And I smile. I can no longer sign 'mommy' to the notes I leave in her lunch box, she is 'too old' for that. But for some reason on this quiet afternoon, I am still her 'mommy' along this creek's edge. It's a moment I want to carry in my heart for always.

Bursting from within her is excitement to deep to contain. It is Mother's Day Weekend and something within Sarah wants to make it special for me. All weekend she keeps pausing to give me hugs, "I love you mommy!", "Happy Mother's Day weekend!" She can't WAIT to give me their present. She keeps trying to give me clues every time she thinks of one. She is thrilled with the gift that Mike took her and Morgan to pick out for me. She knows I will "LOVE IT!" She tells me this many times. Then she wants to give me back rubs and back massages, so she keeps asking, "Can I give you another back itch?" I love how she words things sometimes - you can't help but smile. And every time I look at her, she smiles. Her big grin that comes from the depth of her soul and spills out and blesses all those around. And I hope nothing in life ever steals that smile away from her.

On our second night camping, a young couple set up camp next to us. I looked at Mike and said "They remind me of us many years ago...how did we get from there to here?" He said he thought the same thing and then added more that made me smile. But seeing this unknown couple made me thankful that Mike decided to venture into parenthood with me - and that our days camping are now filled with the memories that include two beautiful daughters. It makes me think of the song "Then" by Brad Paisley, that says, "we've come so far since that day, and I thought I loved you then..." and goes on to say "We'll look back someday, at this moment that we're in, And I'll look at you and say, And I thought I loved you then..."

I thought of my own mom this weekend a lot too. Of her love of nature. Walking in the woods with her when I was a child. I have this memory of her one time poking a bunch of ferns in her straw hat to keep the bugs away. I remember her stopping to take pictures of flowers and for the life of me I could NOT understand why she would want a picture of flowers or anything else in nature for that matter. But now I understand her. Here is just one of the many 'nature pictures' I took of my own this weekend. And there in the midst of nature, 600 miles too many away from my mom, I felt closer to her. And I felt my own lips curl up into a smile at that realization.

Mother's Day Memories

2011-05-08T19:49:00.000-05:00

Last year, for Mother's Day weekend, it was FREEZING cold at Roaring River State Park, but I still fell in love with this beautiful natural wonder. So this year, with the weather looking **GORGEOUS** I knew I wanted to head back there. With temps in the 80s, we spent the weekend exploring new trails, meandering through the woods for hours, jumping creeks, searching for geocaches, peeking in caves, climbing rocks, and pausing to notice all the mini waterfalls. Seriously, what could make a mother's day weekend any better than hours of uninterrupted time with the three people I love most in the whole world!?! Then at the campground, we laughed playing a game called Spoons, relaxed by the creek's edge in the hammock, and enjoyed skipping countless rocks in the river. And of course, s'mores were a given!

snackime

"Devil's Kitchen"

Cave Exploring

Water dripping off the cliff walls.

So many beautiful spots to stop and enjoy.

Skipping Rocks.

Relaxing by the water's edge.

Expo Makers in the Medicine Cabinet

2011-05-05T10:28:00.002-05:00

Seriously, I think EVERYONE should have EXPO Markers...or window crayons...or window markers...in their medicine cabinet.

Our family has SO much fun writing messages on the mirrors to each other!! I mean, you walk into the bathroom...and there it is...a new message just for you! And you can't help but smile!

Here are some of the things we write on the mirrors:

a single word: Explore, Dream - and the other responds to it.
coded messages that make our kids go 'huh?' and have them writing things like 'good luck mom!'
Reminders: last night the girls wrote me a reminder to pick up the pizza for Sarah's class today.
Bible Verses.
virtues we're reinforcing from church at home. Right now the girls mirror says: Forgiveness:Deciding that someone who has wronged you does not have to pay.
a phrase to finish. Last Friday I wrote: "Weekends are for..." and we added ideas all weekend.
countdowns to special events. Girls mirror says: 21 Days til Aunt Suzie arrives.
the girls write messages to each other. and to us.
Encouragement: Good luck on your test today!

Try it...I bet you'll be hooked too! One word of caution, if you buy Expo markers, you might also want to buy an extra bottle of windex cleaner! :)

...and to think I almost gave up on the church.

2011-05-01T13:22:00.001-05:00

In 1996, when I was only 22 years old, tragedy so dark and deep shattered my heart into a million unrecognizable pieces. At my darkest hour, I cursed God, doubted his very existence, and at my best during those days, I questioned him - this God that I had always known, that I had put into my own box - suddenly was in question. And going to church made me feel worse! Forgiveness, mercy, judgement - my heart needed a safe place to heal. And, sadly, I could NOT find that in most traditional churches. They too had put God 'in a box' defined by cliche phrases and lists of rules. I needed to find the real, true God elsewhere. At times, I wanted to give up on church, yet something inside me refused to! I had to keep searching.

Then enter, Woodcrest Chapel (1998) - a church in a 'blue polebarn' that made me skeptical to even enter. But once inside, I found real people on a real journey who told me that God was big enough for my most difficult questions - I could ask him why - I could search - and guess what, my heart found healing. And I began to understand God's true heart towards me. I began to really understand grace and love and forgiveness. And not just understand them, but live them, in my everydayness. It was His church that helped me get to this place.

Then three years ago (2008), we had to move, and I mourned that we would never find another church quite like Woodcrest. We tried a dozen churches when we moved, and finally decided to call North Point Church home. I'd like to say we jumped right in, we've been as actively involved here as we were at Woodcrest. We have not, for many reasons that I will save for other discussions on another day. But it is where we choose to worship each week. It is where we tithe, because we believe that money provides resources to let God meet people on real journeys who are asking real questions. It is where we facilitate a small group in our home every other week because we believe that spiritual journeys are meant to be shared. It's where our kids hear others reinforce life virtues that we are trying to teach them at home. It's where they look forward to going each week. It's where we laugh every week. And we're reminded of God's truth. of the cross. of the resurrection. of love. and grace. And then I get emails from the church (see below), of people, real people, responding to the message of Easter last week, and I can't help but think - "I'm so glad I never gave up on the church!" Because when the church is working...it is a breath of fresh air to individuals and the community. And when Easter services go from 2,064 people four years ago ('07) to almost 9,854 this year - well, God is breathing life into people and the community through North Point Church! And I'm glad that we are right here. right now.

Here's the email:

We met a man who had never stepped foot onto a North Point campus. But he has been watching Pastor Tommy’s messages on TV. He saw Tommy talk about The Point during the Hungry series, so he came and got plugged into a group…having never been to a live weekend service :)
Talked to a few couples whose first time at NPC was this past Easter weekend, and they loved it so much that they wanted to jump right in and start getting involved so they came out on Wednesday night [group connection event].
Yet another couple, it was their first time in a church…ever…ANY church, this past Easter weekend. They were so excited for the atmosphere & attitudes they experienced that they wanted to get connected with other people.

Motherhood and Backyard 'Lake View'

2011-04-25T20:21:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I feel like I 'rock' as a mom. Then there's nights like tonight. And I wonder if I ever do anything right. I'm sure I'm majorly screwing up my kiddos. Sometimes I just wish this motherhood journey could be easier than it looks. Sigh. Hopefully in the end, the moments I get it 'right' will outweigh all these 'screwups'!

Well after days and days of thunderstorms, tonight, there is a sunset out my back window!! The leaves are filling out our trees, so it's harder to see; yet, I see the colors of the sunset faithfully shining through the branches. And when it rains, we get this lovely river that surges through our backyard (really it leaves all kinds of trash and opens sink holes and is really a pain!) But while it's flowing - it's captivating. This summer will make three years in this house and I still find myself drawn to the 'river' every time it rains. The force with which it flows, the stuff floating downstream...and that I hope keeps floating on by so I don't have to pick it up later, the constant movement, the beauty. Well tonight I paused and looked out at the sunset and it was reflecting off the 'river' and it was simply breathtakingly beautiful. It almost looked like we lived on a lake. I tried to take pictures to capture this 'lake view' with my camera, but my camera failed to capture the colors and beauty of it all. But nonetheless, here is a picture with and without the flash. It was a welcome glimpse of beauty after days and days of rain and a heart that is heavy with the journey of motherhood tonight.

Easter Weekend

2011-04-24T16:11:00.001-05:00

Let's see, our weekend included...thunderstorms, egg coloring, thunderstorms, cookie baking, thunderstorms, bass pro egg hunt, thunderstorms, walk, thunderstorms, bike ride, thunderstorms, annual treasure hunt for Easter baskets, thunderstorms, Easter celebration at church, thunderstorms, impromptu concert in the basement, thunderstorms. Here are a few pictures. And a video of one of the girls songs (and I'm sure Mike's thankful I didn't chose the video of him dancing with them on the stage!). But really, the video is what Easter is all about...

Fully Living...to Fully Die

2011-04-21T09:39:00.002-05:00

Not sure where this blog post is going to go...a million thoughts floating in and out of my head this morning.

I know I shouldn't have, but I went to bed last night dreading today. I'm stuck home with no car and it's suppose to only be in the 50s today (and after 80s two days ago... I'm not pleased with this fact) and it's suppose to rain all day. But as the girls rushed out the door for the bus...unexpected sunshine greeted me as I opened the door.

I was suddenly pleased I had no place I had to be today. So, I made myself some hot cocoa, grabbed my robe and then sat on my front porch step, soaking up the rays of sunshine spilling out of the blue sky down on me. Thankful for the alcove of protection my porch walls were offering from the 42 wind chill. And I talked to God, thanking him for all the signs of Spring I saw around me. Pondering and thanking him for Good Friday and Easter. I decided to grab my bible and I read a few chapters. I read about a leper pausing to say thanks.

Then I grabbed my camera. Lately I've been noticing other's photos... and if I'm completely honest, I'm been a bit *envious* of their cameras that can capture such gorgeous pictures. I have a simple automatic zoom digital camera. It's easy and convenient - but lately I've been noticing, it doesn't capture the details I see. And it's made me a bit envious. But I decided, I do have a camera, and I need to take pictures to capture what it can.

I LOVE all the green that is surrounding my back deck again!

Here is a view from my front porch step this morning.
So many shades of green already appearing.

I then came inside and crawled onto Morgan's bed. Her room is the only room that has sunshine pouring through it in the morning. And I've been laying here for the past 45 minutes, reading Ann VosKamp's book One Thousand Gifts, seizing these unexpected gifts of sunshine and silence and time for reflection.

In her book she asks the question, how do we live fully so we are fully ready to die? Because face it, one day we will all die. How do we live fully alive with every breath we are given? She talked about two stories. The last supper and and the story of the leper. (Kinda interesting that I was already thinking on Easter this morning and had just read the story of the leper in Luke 17 this morning). She says "With an expiration of less than twelve hours, what does Jesus count as all most important?" 'And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them...' (Luke 22:19)" When facing the hardest moment of his life, he gave thanks. And as for the leper, God healed him, he came back and said thanks, and then God said, your faith has healed you. He fully experienced the miracle of the moment, because he paused to say thanks.

Ann's book asks, and I am asking, is it in living a life full of thanksgiving that we can truly fully live? The wonder of life, of God, of living... isn't 'out there' to find 'one day' - rather, it's to be found, 'right here' and 'right now' in this moment. So before these final rays of sunshine leave this room, and I'm caught up in daily chores, I am going to go and add a few more things to my list of 1000 gifts.

Misery dislikes Gratitude

2011-04-19T08:06:00.001-05:00

I have been feeling miserable lately. I'll spare you all the details, besides, if I wrote out all the details, I'd probably just feel worse, so I won't. Let's just say it's a combination of many things...and these stupid allergies are NOT helping at all!! My soul longs for Spring, I love to immerse myself in it, and now I feel trapped inside by these allergies!! Ugh!!

Last night I was feeling really down. Right now, I don't feel like looking on the bright side of things. at all. I really want to wallow in my misery. But honestly, where will that get me? Besides, I'm trying to live with more gratitude in my 'everydayness'...and perhaps that means finding gratitude especially on days I don't feel like it. So this morning, in an attempt to gain a better perspective, here are 15 more things I'm adding to my 1000 gifts list, bringing my total to 489.

#1 - Sadness. Without it, could we truly know happiness?

#2 - Darkness, so we can experience light

#3 - Coldness, so I can know warmth

#4 - Tears, to release emotions instead of keeping them inside

#5 - Unfulfilled dreams, so when they become reality, I’ll appreciate the gift/work of them all the more

#6 - A new day, to begin with a new perspective

#7 - My aging body that is reminding me to live a healthier lifestyle

#8 - Allergies, so I can appreciate my good health the rest of the year

#9 - A husband who would like to make things better for me, if he could

#10 - Internal battles that make me wiser and stronger…eventually

#11 - Backrubs generously given

#12 - Bicycles

#13 - Mike leaving work a few minutes early so we can enjoy a bike ride together before the girls get off the bus.

#14 - Garage door openers

#15 - Daughters who point out things I can appreciate (like garage door openers)

I'm trying here...can you tell?!? :)

1000 Gifts Continued

2011-04-11T06:56:00.001-05:00

In January, I started a list called 1000 Gifts, you can read about it by clicking here. My goal is to list 1000 gifts by the end of the year. Again, the purpose is simply to pause and notice all the many things I have to be thankful for in life. I try to keep the file open on my computer, so I can just add to it as something comes to me. Below is my list from this past week.

Also, the same author of this idea, has this one page sheet you can print which makes a weekly booklet where you can write down just 7 gifts a day. Click here to read about it and see how to fold it. I printed up one for each of the girls, so they can cultivate a heart of gratitude in their lives as well. They seem excited about them.

#408 - Morning breeze thru my window
#409 - Screens to keep bugs out
#410 - Girls’ homemade documentary on how to make clay pots and stuff out of playdoh for barbies.
#411 - A day that begins with laughter
#412 - Bright green spots dotting bare branches
#413 - A friend’s offer to let the girls sleepover at her house when I’m completely drained
#414 - A husband who so willingly makes me lunch all the time when we are home.
#415 - A husband who does up the dishes before I get home
#416 - A friend who takes her time to proofread my writing
#417 - No commitments this weekend, so I can rest
#418 - Paint in a 1000 different colors. Deep purple, dark orange, lime green, bright turquoise are the chosen treehouse (inside) colors today.
#419 - Neighborhood friends for the girls to enjoy so often
#420 - Splotches of bright colors throughout the neighborhood
#421 - Listening to the girls read the Easter story to me
#422 - Medicine
#423 - Kleenex
#424 - Air conditioning, even if it is April (gulp).
#425 - Unexpected visitors, like Uncle Jim this week
#426 - A tear that chokes me up during a worship song at church
#427 - Easter egg hunts
#428 - Smiles on kids faces
#429 - Finding a decaying dead walnut that has a new 2 inch baby walnut tree sprouting out of the inside
#430 - Mike’s willingness to help with projects without complaint
#431 - Springtime rains
#432 - Shelter from storms
#433 - A friend calling for no other reason but to share good news with me

Pity Party

2011-04-09T16:13:00.000-05:00

I'm throwing my own little pity party, so if you'd like to join me, read on. If you'd rather pass on the invite, well I can't blame you.

I feel m.i.s.e.r.a.b.l.e. - and I fear that I may have finally developed seasonal allergies. I've been taking BOTH claritin and sudafed for the past 2 days and I can still barely breathe. My eyes are itchy, watery, I'm all stuffed up, sneezing, even my ears feel full at times, and my teeth hurt (not sure about that one). I've gone thru over a box of kleenex in the past 24 hours. I checked what pollen is high right now - Oak Trees - Oh yah, I have at least a dozen of them out my backdoor - LOVE THEM the other 11 months of the year, blaming them for my current condition at the moment (I need something to blame!) And the worst part, it's a GORGEOUS weekend!! I can't even sit out on our deck! And last night, BOTH girls stayed over at a friend's house and what did I do from 4:30 last night til 8:00 this morning - stay in bed, feeling more dead than alive!! And today, Mike is heading to the races with some friends - so the girls and I could have a fun evening ahead of us, except I feel terrible. I'm just feeling grumpy and down and discouraged. That's all. Thanks for stopping by.

Our girls...on our marriage

2011-04-06T21:43:00.001-05:00

So, I asked the girls tonight, how do you know daddy & I love each other? Here are their responses.

Sarah:
- "Because you guys kiss all the time!"
- "look them in the eyes when talking"
- "by hugging"
- "go away for your anniversary and bring us to Darian's house"

Morgan:
- "you kiss"
- "you say it"
- "you hug"
- "you share money"

I enjoyed hearing their answers and really, we don't kiss that much! Seriously, we still love each other like crazy, and I hope that they always know that deep within their hearts!! Every investment into our relationship thru the years has been so worth it!!

So Different, Love them Both

2011-04-02T22:30:00.000-05:00

Okay, with Morgan, every day she brings home her papers neatly in a folder. Oh occasionally one might be in her bag, or elsewhere, but for the most part, she has always been responsible about putting her papers in her folder and bringing them home. I've never had to ask her about it or teach her to do it - she just does it. She also fills out her planner for school faithfully and always reminds me to sign it. She's super responsible!

But my girls are as different as night and day sometimes. They remind me that while I may 'parent' them similar, with the same goals, they still have very unique personalities. I can not parent them exactly, because they are different kids, and require different strategies in dealing with different issues. For example, Here's Sarah. Monday - no papers. Tuesday - no papers. Wed. - no papers. Thurs - no papers. Friday - an entire weeks worth of papers crammed into her folder, with the overflow crammed into the bottom of her bag (only because her teacher required them to clean out their desks). A wad. A mess. I've tried talking with her. I've tried bribing her - bring her papers home, she can have a piece of candy. This week she had an important note about needing to bring something to school (actually it's from over a week ago) - she told me about it - but not knowing the details, I wasn't going to buy random stuff and send it in. All week I've asked her for the note. Told her she can't bring stuff to school unless she's responsible to bring me the note. I finally found the note on Friday crammed in her folder. Umm yeah, we were suppose to send in the item last Monday. So I sent her teacher an email about it, explaining all this and that I was trying to instill some responsibility into her. So he sent me back the following email, and it made me laugh out loud!! It said:

I understand about her desk. Every day after math I always tell her that one day she's not going to be able to cram anything else in there and she just grins real big and shrugs her shoulders. I just have been waiting like you to see what happens. I know that I shouldn't laugh, but it makes me chuckle to see her do that.

All I have to say is that thankfully, we still have ten more years (til she's 18) to keep working on responsibility! She'll get it, I hope. But something tells me she may always have a messy desk when she grows up. I wonder if she'll surprise me! :) And by the way, if I had to choose, I'd take her big grin over a neat folder any day! :)

April Fool's Day

2011-04-01T16:49:00.001-05:00

Just like St. Patty's day - I LOVE April Fools Day because it gives me an excuse to just have a little fun, enjoy a little silliness with the girls. It's a break from the routine. I'm SUPER Excited about the three-layer sponge cake I made today! Looks yummy, I know. But really, it's made with real sponges. Oh, the girls are going to LOVE this! :) Don't worry I got some real cupcakes hidden for after the fool's trick!

Here's the sideview before I added the frosting. :)

Also, for breakfast, I put a couple drops of food coloring in the bottom of their cereal bowls, then put cereal in, so when they poured their white milk, it changed colors to pink or blue. For their lunch boxes, I printed up these donut seed packets.

The girls got in on the fun today too, they secretly 'called me' on the phone -said it was dad - but when I answered they said, "April Fools"!

I'm always looking for new tricks for next year - let me know if you have any good ones! :)

Butterfly Kisses and Well Loved Ducks

2011-03-30T21:28:00.000-05:00

We got home late from church tonight and I wanted to rush getting the girls to bed. But both of them stopped me in hurry and made me pause and appreciate the moment.

I went to tell Morgan goodnight and there snuggled up next to her were her "Crackers" and Cracker's Friend, "Pretzel". Crackers was her beloved childhood duck. He's had 3 beaks and has needed several stitches thru the years. She usually doesn't sleep with them anymore, at almost 10, she's well past that stage of needing them to sleep. But tonight, there they were - all 3 of them on her pillow. I just had to kiss them all goodnight. And I said to her, "one day all three of you are going to move out and I'm sure gonna miss you all!" We then added 3 more books of the bible to her wall...as we are trying to memorize them all in order for a zone 4/5 challenge from Church and said good night prayers.

Then I went to Sarah's room, had a brief chit-chat moment, followed by her bedtime prayers. She then reached up and gave me 'butterfly kisses' and then I opened my eyes and looked at her and she had one of her giant Sarah smiles on her face. Goodness, these years are sweet! I know they won't last forever, so I have to pause and enjoy them now.

I also secretly hope that one day, they will share butterfly kisses with their kiddos, who will in return, turn around and give them back to me!!

Glimpses of Heaven

2011-03-24T11:13:00.001-05:00

When the girls were younger, they would come and curl up in my bed every morning. I loved that waking-up-slowly time with them. Now they are older, they tend to wake each other up, play together, find some cartoons to watch - and somehow without warning - those sweet morning times with me ended. Yet, this morning, it happened again. And I just HAD to pause and write it down.

Just before the twilight gives way to the morning brightness, Sarah tumbles into my room and climbs into my bed. I lay here, feeling the warmth of my sweet daughter snuggling next to me. Her hair a tousled mess, it looks like the fairies danced in her hair again last night. Involuntarily, my hand reaches up and touches her face – so soft, so tender, I simply receive the gift as it is – a glimpse of heaven here on earth. I turn her eyes towards mine – those big, brown eyes – the windows to her soul – and I look deep into them and I whisper, “I love you. Every day. For the rest of my life.” And she whispers back, “I love you too,” as her lips curl into the sweetest smile. Then, as my arms reach around her, hugging her tight, my soul whispers a silent thanks to God, treasuring once again, this undeserved gift of motherhood.

Everyday Update

2011-03-23T07:18:00.001-05:00

As darkness gave way to twilight and a dozen birds sang to me through an open window this morning - I breathed in deeply this beautiful thing called, "Spring". I whispered prayers to the God of the universe, thankful He cares enough to listen to the smallness of my heart. I then decided to 'pen' Mike's Gram an email this morning, as she was on my mind. (And might I add, that when I'm in my 90s, I sure hope I am still computer savvy enough to get emails!) I gave her an update on our everyday-ness. I thought I would put it on my blog too, 'a snapshot' of our life at this moment.

Mike: Has a big inspection at work this week - they have it every 5 years. He says its not a big deal. but it is. Does he ever think anything is a big deal? He is so laid back, I love that about him. This week he was teaching Morgan all about how the inside of how a car works. I wonder where he learned that?!

Morgan: Doing awesome in school. Loves art class this year. and reading. and math. Just started learning to play recorder in music class. She has one more week of volleyball. They haven't had a winning season on the court, but she has had a winning season in her soul - learning something new, gaining confidence, learning about teamwork. She is excited about her 10th birthday this summer and our trip to the Grand Canyon to celebrate it.

Sarah: She just won her first Spring soccer game last night. It was a joy to see her growth since last fall - from being less passive on the field, to being more active in the game. She, too, is doing well in school. She seems to enjoy all the special things they learn at school. Last night at the dinner table she was telling us all about how mountains and valleys are made. She was fascinated by owls last month.

Me: Substitute teaching when I can. This week has been slow, but I've been enjoying being outside, soaking in spring and letting the quietness replenish my soul. My latest writing project is called "1000 gifts" and I'm trying to pause and write 1000 things I'm thankful for in 2011. In nine weeks, I'm up to 363 of them. For me, it's about developing a heart of gratitude for all the little things in life.

Perfume of Heaven

2011-03-21T17:05:00.000-05:00

Last week, I read these words, "babies are the perfume of heaven" - Ann Voskamp. And after holding a 5 day old baby yesterday, I have to agree. We are so excited that baby Henry is here and that we get to share this journey with him, Darian and Beau. And I must say, it's pretty sweet seeing my own girls big enough to hold this bundle of sweetness. DOB: 3-16-11

The girls made this artwork for Henry, last month, while hanging out with Darian and Beau.

St. Patty's Day Mystery Dinner

2011-03-17T19:18:00.000-05:00

So, I've been a TINY bit excited about tonight's dinner! I even made menus! I adapted this idea from this post I read for a Valentine's Day Mystery Dinner at Gourmet-Mom-On-The-Go. But, we go out for a birthday dinner on Valentine's Day, and this idea was too cute to NOT do, so I changed it to fit St. Patrick's Day.

Here's what the front of the menu says:

Welcome to St. Patty’s Diner - - Where you will experience a four-course dining experience filled with mystery, silliness and giggles galore.

Follow the directions and choose your items for each course. You will need to fill out both forms the same – one for you to keep and one for Chef O’Malley.

Our apologies, Chef O’Malley doesn’t speak English very well, so you will have to translate the menu yourself. May the luck of the Irish be with you!

Here's the items on the menu. They only read/see the item not in ( ). It's a Mystery, they don't know what they will be served until it comes.

St. Patty's Golden Nuggets (chicken nuggets)
Green Logs (green beans)
Lucky Puddle (ranch dip - turned green)
Leprechaun Clouds (green mashed potatos)
Bouncy Balls (green grapes)
Leprechaun Gold (lemon jello squares)
Irish Hay Mover (fork)
Leprechaun Shovel (spoon)
O’Saw (knife)
Leprechaun Sheet (napkin)
Leprechaun Pillow (roll)
Lucky Squares (butter)
Lucky Raindrops (green juice)
Rainbow (sprinkles for icecream)
Irish Snow (mint ice cream)

Needless to say, it was SO much fun. My parents were here with us, so it made it even more fun. Sitting around the table for an hour, laughing together - it was great! At the end the girls said, 'next time mom, you have to let us invite a friend, so they can know how crazy you are!' :) Top that off with a day wandering around the zoo, a trip to get Andy's Frozen Custard, and being visited by leprechauns who turned the milk green, left green glitter and green mm's everywhere,and um, who even used our toilet. Well, it's been a great day! I sure have LOVED St. Patrick's day these past few years - a great excuse to break from routine and enjoy some silliness!!

Happy 40th Anniversary!!!

2011-03-13T12:38:00.001-05:00

Today my parents celebrate their 40th Wedding Anniversary! 40 years of togetherness...it's a long time!! In fact, I think Sarah's words to my mom (handing her their wedding album) were something like, "Here are the 40 year old pictures, they're really old...just so you know!" :) Here's to wishing them the happiest years yet to come...

We Did It!!!

2011-03-06T07:47:00.000-06:00

Goodbye 1997 Suburban with 199,000 miles!

Hello 2007 Toyota Sequoia! Welcome to the family!

And the best part....We have been making a car payment to ourselves for the past several years and so we paid cash for this car! If you would have asked me even 10 years ago I would have said we would have NEVER be able to pay cash for a car - but guess what, through my years of staying home with the girls and part-time jobs - we saved - and we did it!!! Does this car have everything we wanted? No! But it will still be a great car for our family (even the white is growing on me! :))!! Plus, it's ours - not the banks - no stress about payments, so we get to enjoy it even more!! First trip...Grand Canyon this summer, here we come!!!

This is the girl's favorite part of the new vehicle, the built in DVD player! ...if only we could figure out how to work it (think remote needs batteries). The vehicle comes with a full warranty for one year, so one way or the other, we'll get it working! :)

In The Trenches Update:
We had to travel to Columbia to get this vehicle, so we decided to stay overnight, being Mike's birthday on Monday and all. Besides, it gave us the chance to eat some Shakespeare's pizza and visit with some good friends!! Well, I love listening to the girls conversations when they wake up in the morning. First conversation - about the new Sequoia (too cute!). Next conversation: Morgan says to Sarah, "I will have my doctorate degree in 16 years - you will have yours in 18 years." To which Sarah responds, "I don't want to do anything when I grow up!" I told you she's in this extremely lazy phase AND she lives in the moment, so she really doesn't think beyond the present time. Morgan's response, "Well you'll at least have to get your bachelor's degree!" It will be fun to see what careers they decide on one day, but for now, I'm thankful for whispered conversations in hotel beds next to mine!

In the Trenches of Parenting

2011-03-05T08:40:00.000-06:00

So, my super sweet daughter, Sarah, who has the nicknames of Sugar Bear and Sweetheart because they fit her so perfect - has been a major challenge lately. She has been going through some huge testing of boundaries that we set - being openly defiant, refusing to do things asked of her. I think she has left screaming and crying in the morning at least 4 days this week. And really, it's over stupid stuff. Like this morning -Mike is taking the girls to Pancakes with Pop at the school and then we have to leave for her ice skating lessons. Then we are traveling after that. She wanted to wear a skirt. The rule is, no skirts skating - you have to wear blue jeans. You would have thought the dog died with the sobbing fit she threw! We finally set the timer - if she wanted to go - she had to have her new outfit on (and it's one of her favorite outfits normally) - or she wasn't going. Thankfully she finally got ready. But seriously it was a 30 minute ordeal.

Normally I don't make a big deal of my kids outfits (seriously you should see some of the things I let them wear to school) - but sometimes it's not a choice. But really it's not just this - it's been EVERYTHING lately. No she won't take a shower. No she won't eat her dinner. No she won't take 5 min and pick up some things in her room. No she won't respond kindly to her sister. S.t.u.b.b.o.r.n. she has been!

I keep reminding myself it's just a phase. But it's been going on for over a month now! Ugh. I'm getting tired. Had to pull out one of my favorite parenting books again, "Boundaries with Kids" by Cloud & Townsend. And be strengthened by reading this:

Part of the heat of parenting is tolerating and enduring your child's hatred of your boundaries. You and your child each have a different job here: The kid's job is to test your resolve, so she can learn about reality. Your job is to withstand the test, including anger, pouting, tantrums, and much more.
You are like an oak tree that the child runs her head into over and over again, until she realizes that the tree is stronger than she is, and she walks around it next time.

And of course, you have to read that in context of the whole book. It's not about dictatorship and always being right. But boundaries like eating healthy, keeping clean, being responsible for your things, being kind - are just a few of the things I am responsible for teaching her. And it takes boundaries to do that. I want her to like me, I don't want her to cry in the mornings. I hate it. It starts my day terrible. Yet I am not in the role of her 'friend' - I hope that when she is grown, we will share a great friendship, but for now, I am in the role of her mom. And that means following thru with boundaries and consequences, however painful it feels to me.

And at least the great thing about Sarah is that she lives in the moment, so I'm hoping by the time they got to Pancakes with Pop, they are having a great time! I'm sure she's forgot all about her outfit by now!

No. 200

2011-03-02T06:42:00.000-06:00

Wow, I began blogging three years ago!! This is my 200th blog entry!! For everyone who has ever paused to read my words, I thank you!! So, I've been thinking about 'why' I blog...

1- I began my blog to keep in touch with family and friends. Our closest family is over 650 miles away. And with the few moves we've had, we have cherished friendships everywhere. It's a fun way to 'keep in touch'!

2- I LOVE to write! Here's a place I can!

3 - I hope one day my girls will appreciate the gift of my words and enjoy the stories I put in here about them. They give me so many sweet moments on this journey to cherish!

4 - We are never promised tomorrow. In the unlikely event something happens to me, my girls have a 'piece' of my heart here in these words.

5 - added bonus: From time to time someone will pause and send me an email or note, telling me they appreciated some words I shared. And I find myself honored, and encouraged, and smiling. I also find myself pondering the mystery of how God uses my words to speak something to someone else.

So again, if you're reading this - I THANK YOU for taking the time to do so!!

p.s. I'm so excited about today. My good friend Lori and I have birthdays just 2 days apart - and we are finally able to get together today to celebrate each other and our friendship! We're both driving four hours (round trip) to enjoy lunch, get a pedicure (my last pedicure was with her three years ago before we moved), and hopefully get in a quick walk at the state park on this beautiful 60-degree, spring-like day! Looking forward to laughing, chatting, and just spending some time together!

Rockets and Springtime

2011-02-24T20:56:00.003-06:00

In honor of space shuttle Discovery's last lift off today and the hope of Spring that is just around the corner, I present this poem.

Back when I was in school, guessing Jr. High - but could be before or after that, I had to memorize a poem. I don't know who wrote it and I'm certain I don't remember all the words - but all these years later, this is what I do remember. and I still think it's beautiful. and I'm glad a teacher made me memorize it.

Fueled -
by a million man-made wings of fire,
the rocket tore a tunnel through the sky.
and everyone cheered.

Fueled -
only by a thought from God,
the seedling pushed its way
through the thickness of black.
and no one even clapped.

I'm also changing my blog background to something 'springy' because here in the Ozarks, some buds are decorating the trees and some bright green leaves are pushing their way thru the dead leaves in my flower beds, and my heart is longing for the fullness of Spring.

A Daughter Grows

2011-02-22T20:42:00.001-06:00

Tonight I am celebrating the growth I see in Morgan. Academic growth, specifically.

Three years ago, I was worried. You see, she has a summer birthday and when we sent her to school, we knew she was young, but we also saw her as smart and capable. Kindergarten was fine. Then came first grade. Oh my. The tears. The struggles. I questioned if we had done the right thing. Perhaps we should have waited another year to send her to school. I even blogged about some of her math struggles. You can read about it here or here. Tonight, she came home and out of the 23 in her class she was the 4th one to pass her multiplication timed tests!!! She is so proud. And so am I. She's most excited that tomorrow she just gets to 'sit there' while others continue to take their tests.

And then there's reading. I have read to her since the moment she opened her eyes in this world. Then she would spend hours just picking up books and reading them the way toddlers, preschoolers and young readers do. Then she had to 'learn to read' and that was when she began hating to read! She wanted nothing to do with reading. She stopped loving to read and my heart was breaking. How can my daughter NOT love reading?!?! It was a gift I tried so hard to instill in her. But no, reading our 'required minutes' for school became a struggle. Major struggle. 1st grade. 2nd grade. 3rd grade. and now she's in 4th grade. I've seen small growth through the years, but tonight when I yelled into them, 'you girls need to get into bed and start reading', I almost got tears in my eyes when she yelled back, "I LOVE READING!!!" I guess sometimes the gifts we give our children just take awhile to bloom. I think I will need to remember that many times over the coming years.

And then there's standardized testing. For the first time this last month, her scores actually reflect what her teachers have known her capable of and see often in the classroom. She still has test anxiety. But she is overcoming.

I am so thankful for the beautiful teachers - Ms. Thye, Mrs. Estes, Mrs. Casella and Mrs. Long who have invested in her, encouraged her, believed in her and helped her get to this point. For all those seeds they planted and tools they gave her, my heart is filled with gratitude.

And as long as I'm writing about Morgan. This weekend is going to be another 'letting go' time for me. She is going, by herself, with her girl scout troop to St. Louis. She's never travelled that far without us, or been away for that long, by herself. I know she's ready and so excited about it. But, it doesn't make it any easier for my heart.

Wondering

2011-02-15T14:12:00.003-06:00

Just wondering...contemplating...is this a selfish dream of my own, or do I feel it so strongly, because it is a dream God has placed in my soul?!

tee-vee

2011-02-15T05:59:00.002-06:00

So most of our married life we only had 'rabbit ears' on our tv. It was a choice both to not let tv overtake our life, as well as spending our money on other things instead. When the switch over happened to digital tv, our converter box wasn't working well, so just over 2 years ago, we got dish network. We loved it - all the channels, the DVR, it was fun. But our bill had 'grown' to $52 a month...ridiculous, for something I dont' feel is really all that healthy and doesn't really promote family time. Oh don't get me wrong, we certainly enjoy family movie nights, I love watching Cake Boss with the girls and I love them watching morning cartoons so I can snuggle in bed longer. Mike enjoys ESPN and channel surfing. But really, over $600 a year, for tv?!

Well Mike's co-worker, Jason, built these digital tv antennas - so last week, Mike and I spent one evening making one for us!! It only cost us $15, we get 10 channels AND they come in REALLY good - the basics: fox, abc, nbc, cbs and pbs. plus a few others. We're also paying for netflix ($8/mo), which we can stream movies thru our bluray and wii. Saving us over $500 a year. And don't worry, this lovely antenna does not stay in our living room - it's safely tucked away in the attic!!

If you want to try it...just search "digital tv antenna" @ youtube.com! I was surprised at how easy it was to make!!

Valentine Memories

2011-02-14T04:57:00.015-06:00

1992. My 18th Birthday.
Our First Valentine's Day.
Valentine's Banquet - Church Youth Group

Summer 2010. Still friends all these years later.
and both still happily in love.

And if you could see my finger...I'm still wearing the amythest ring Mike gave me that very first valentine's birthday!! This birthday will include: volunteering, lunch with a friend, girl's school valentine parties and dinner out with Mike and the girls. Glad for birthdays and a chance to celebrate this amazing journey called life!!

Sarah is 8!!

2011-02-12T19:57:00.001-06:00

A few random things I wanted to capture about Sarah's birthday.

I put these quotes on facebook, but I wanted to write them here to 'capture' them in time.

Sarah's goodnite quote: "Good night momma - this is the last time I'll see you until I'm 8!!" (which will be in 3.5 hours! or when she wakes up in 10.5 hours! Her excitement has been giggling out of her all day!! :))
Quote #2: "I can't wait to wake up in the morning!! 'cuz there will be balloons and streamers in my doorway!!! eeeee!!!" ~ Gotta love traditions!!
Sarah's Morning Quote (with a smile as wide as the ocean): "I've been waiting all year for this day!!" Love birthdays that let us pause and celebrate life's journey!!

She had her first sleepover for her 8th birthday. I only let her invite 8 friends - it was so hard for her to chose just 8!! Here are a few pictures to help me capture the moments.

Sleepover Breakfast

The balloons and streamers
in her doorway.

Gotta love all the pink packages
at girl's birthday parties.

Ice-skating birthday cake,
with love, from Darian.

Celebrations are meant to be shared!